whiskeytangofoxtrot's Journal

I asked myself what would I do if given a few hours of freetime, by that I mean, no kids, no job duties, nothing HAVING to get done right now but actual time that you can spend doing what you want to do, uninterupted and for yourself. It is rare in my life that I get this kind of time but have been lucky to have it twice in the last week, including right now(today).

This is to my H but I would be out of line to actually say any of this to him, because he works his ass off for us, and does everything I could need, and is still trying to get back in the swing of 1st shift again(which he's been back on now for 7 weeks.

Two weeks ago, you had to report for jury duty. It pulled you out of work and you were dismissed from court about 10am. You texted me to tell me you were free. I thought to myself and told you, "great, now you got a nice quiet house to go home too and you can chill or go do somethings you've been wanting to do since you don't have to go back to work"  You say, "yup" and I don't hear from you for the rest of the day. The twins get home about 4. The oldest had something after school so wasn't home. I pull up from work about 430 and you are sitting outside with a coffee cup wiping your eyes. The girls woke you up when they got home AND you are bitching that the dogs shit in the house while you were sleeping. So you had a full nights sleep then came home and slept 6 more hours. Wow!  I can't even comprehend that.

Saturday night we were planning on fishin. You did work 8 overtime. I took the girls out to get the oldest her homecoming dress and just relatively get the girls out of the house. You come home at 230 to an empty house and climb straight into the bed. We come home about 4. You tell me to wake you up at 6 so we can go fishing. You slept your whole saturday away, until we went fishing.  :(   Im tired of watching you sleep.

Yesterday, we both get up about 9. I remember the event at the Zoo. I say I wanna take the girls to the Zoo. You say you might try and fish again. I say great, you should. We leave the house at 10am. We go to the zoo, the commissary and run errands. You don't text me a single time we are gone. You have to be sleeping because that is not like you. We return at 330 and agian, you tell me about your wonderful nap with the dogs and are waking yourself up as we come home.

First of all, 4,5, and 6 hours of sleep during the day is not a NAP, it's a PROBLEM.

But who am I to say anything at all about it. It was your free time, you can do what you want with it.

Last Friday and today, until the kids get home from school I have quiet time. I love it. I can get things done around the house, I can surf the web uninterupted, I can go hit the gym.  Friday I detailed your truck inside and out for 3 hours. Got some sun while doing so and felt like I accomplished something. Today I am going to cut the grass and do some laundry and clean out my dresser(been buggin me). I already answered a bunch of messages on Facebook and Myspace(been kinda busy) and talked to a buddy from my last school. Feels good to catch up with folks. I love when I have the house to myself, I can catch up, plan, clean, do things for myself and it makes me feel like my life doesn't revolve around work. Im even gonna make a dinner the girls have been asking  me to make lately since I have the time today.

Dear husband, I can't give you desire and motivation to do things with yourself and your life. I can't make you want to do things when you are given free time. You have to have goals, desires and wants to accomplish life when you are given time to do so.

You choose to sleep you life away. That is what you want I guess. It must be a sad lonely place in your world if your complete contentment comes from sleeping. Don't get me wrong, I love to sleep to, but I would rather live when I can.

I truly hate that fact that every single moment you get to yourself, you sleep it away.