whiskeytangofoxtrot's Journal

Oh my goodness.....and are you f*cking kidding me....lol

So it's it now 920am Saturday morning. I am exhausted, didn't get to sleep til 2am ish. Should have known better myself than to stay up that late...lol   Oh well, me and the baby were watching some tv and chatting(gosh even the babies are getting so grown up on me now)

But I must, must document this now. My last 2 and a half hours..........

630am He comes in from work. I wake up to hear in pull in the drive(think to myself he's home) then immediately fall back asleep.

740am I am woken by him again, he has come in the room. He appears to be coming to bed, I sleepliy roll over to my side to make him room and start to drift off to sleep again.(who knows or cares what he's been doing for the last hour) He climbs into bed, sitting on the edge of it and lights a smoke.....i lay there and try to go back to sleep.(I HATE the fact I am such a light sleeper) I am turned on my side, away from him, head buried and eyes closed. He starts to ask me questions about the evening. I sleepily answer them, say I love you and snuggle back into my pillows for more sleep. He then lays down and starts messing with my hair and holding my side and rubbing up and down my hips. He starts to drift off a few times himself as his hand gets VERY heavy and digs into my side. I re-adjust to stop it from digging into me and he awakens slightly just to mo've it back and fall asleep again. This goes on for a good 15 minutes and at this point Im practically awake and starting to get annoyed, he also knows I am a light sleeper.  I reach for my smokes and can't find my lighter, I ask him for his. He then asks me twice if I lost mine.....I think "obviously since Im asking to use yours" but just say it's over there somewhere. So he sits up, and starts rooting around until he finds it.  I say don't worry about it, and it ignores me until he finds it. He gives it to me.

8am  He finally rolls onto his side and appears to be settling in for sleep. I doubt it but figure I'll try and get a little more sleep in before the kids and dogs get up. I re-settle in for rest and surprisingly did fall back a sleep...until

820am  His phone rings....He jumps all over the bed, confused from his state of sleep and finds his phone and answers it.  I can hear a little bit of the conversation.  It is someone from work asking a general question about the location of something. (I know damn well these people KNOW he works night shift yet they continue to call him all hours of the day, and I also know that it was not so important that if his phone had been off and he got a message later, the call would have not been so urgently important)  At this point, Im just like whatever. I grab my stuff and head out of the room, closing the door behind me. Apparantly, I don't need to sleep anymore.

835am   I am literally standing in the kitchen, in front of the coffee pot, dumping yesterdays grinds. The filter is in my hand and the coffee can is in my other, and he walks out of the room and comes up behind me and says  'let me make you some coffee" reaching out his arms as if to take everything out of my hand. I firmly but politely say, "I got it babe"  (Thinking:are you fucking kidding me, go to fucking bed, Im physically making coffee and you want to take it from me to make it?!!)  He tells me of his unimportant phone call, goes to the bathroom and then back to the room.

840am   I am now on the chair in the living room, sipping on the remainder of last nights coffee that I heated up in the Microwave, while I wait for the coffee to finish. He comes out to the living room and sits on the loveseat.....Starts asking me about the gym, and our daughters night at work, and whatever else he can think of. I answer everything with a level tone and short answers, (Im trying to wake up myself) none of this is important right now AND I've already told him when Im going to the gym(it's on the frekkin calendar AND we do it EVERY SAT, he knows this, but what ever).  I know he's just looking to sit out there with me, but I honestly don't know why. Then silence, he says nothing for 5 whole minutes, just sits on the edge of the loveseat, dragging his hand up and down my knee area as an attempt to show affection(I think) but is actually zoning out(Obviously, because he's been up all night and needs to go to bed)

849am   He stands up abruptly breaking the silence, I look at him and say, "love you, gnite baby"  He reaches over me, and goes for my coffee cup. I immediately cover it with my hand and say, "Im good baby, I got it!" He then grabs it anyway, and says louder and smartly "I can get my wife a cup of coffee!"  I say, "his name, it's not even done brewing yet, I got it, thank you." and look at him confused.  He walks into the kitchen with my coffee cup. He returns it to me filled,  and sets it down on the endtable. I say "thank you" and he walks away, into the room, without looking at me and says asbolutely nothing else. (Here we go, I stepped on his toes, pride, what the fuck ever)  He shuts the door to the room, agressively but not actually slamming it.(Mind you, he NEVER closes it and usually yells at me for closing it because Im trying to hard to keep the house quiet so he can sleep) LMAO!  What a child

905am  I can hear him getting up from the desk chair in the bedroom and finally climbing into bed. It is now after 9am. He has to work again tonite. his 14th day in a row as he will be sure to remind us all. And he's just NOW getting to bed, and with a pissy attitude at that.

Unf*ckingbelievable.........

All I can say is are you F*cking kidding me????

Let me find some sh*t to do today to get the hell out of this house!!