whiskeytangofoxtrot's Journal

How do you tell someone that they are obsessed? To the point that it has changed them and they are no longer healty because of it. How do you tell a man that does everything that I could and would want that it is unhealthy to spend his every waking and sleeping moment obsessing over my needs and trying to make me need things I don't even want? I know he does it because he loves me but I don't want or need a servant or slave. I need a man.

He will come home and sleep in chair in the living room in order not to wake me up. (it's his bed too and he needs to sleep in it, he just worked all night, I did not).

I will roll over to get out of bed, if he is in bed with me, he will wake up and ask me if I need some coffee. I say no, Im good, thank you. He will get up anyway and get me a cup of coffee.

I unplug the phone in our room so that if it rings it will not wake him up. He walks in and plugs it back in everymorning and says, "don't worry about me sleeping, Im fine"(bullshit, if something wakes him up he gets up and won't go back to sleep"

Every single day he says, don't worry about keeping the kids quiet while Im sleeping. I want to tell him to SHUT THE FUCK UP and QUIT SAYING THAT because I am going to.

He refuses to turn off his cell phone during the day so he can sleep. And thus people will call him and he'll wake up and talk to them. WHY????

He will get up too early to do things like go to the bank, or store or other household duties that I am absolutely capable of doing(instead of sleeping like he should be) (and then spend the one hour I get with him an evening exhausted, drained, tired and cranky and quiet)

He will text me continuously for hours once he goes to work(he doesn't talk to me that much when we are at home together)

If I don't text him to tell him exactly when I am going to sleep he assumes something is wrong.

If I do not text him back immediately or my phone messes up and I don't get one of his texts immediately he will resend it literally 5 times in a matter of minutes.

He is actually pissed off there is no overtime this weekend because he thinks that is what I want(we are ok, we could use it but it's not the end of the world and no matter how much I tell him it doesn't matter)

He continues to do things specifically because he thinks I want to do them, NOT because he want's too(e.g. go for a drive and getting me a 6pack)

He HAS TO pay the bills the instant we get a few dollars, as soon as he gets home from work. This process takes hours and he's worked all night. (I can pay then just as well or it can wait until he wakes up)

If we are sitting on the porch and I literally stand up to go get a drink, he will jump up and say let me do it(I am NOT your Master dammit!)

He has one hour til work, he is exhausted and drained. I am going to the gym with the girls. He says, "leave your truck here and I'll wash it"  NO! I DON"T WANT YOU TO WASH MY TRUCK

I ask him if he wants to eat dinner with us or take it to work with him. He says, 'whatever is easier for you babe'.....JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!!

He sent me an email two days ago. Asking me how WE are doing? Asking me if Im happy? Of course he does this because he still won't talk to me face to face about this and I still see this as a problem but I guess even if its an email it's a form of communication. He's walking around on eggshells around me and I hate it. I told him what I want and need. I pointed this stuff out to him. What has he done? He's taken it to the next level.....I don't get it. He's not listening. I want to and am going to send him one back this evening while he is working. I just have to figure out what to say because I am going to be honest with him like I said, but I want to be careful so that he understands.

And I know if I tell him all of this he will say, "Im doing it for you"  But he's not, I dont need a servant dammit....How else can I get it through his head?

We are a couple, we help each other out and care for each other yes. But I am not allowed to care or show concern or try to assist him with anything. He will actually get angry. When he does get up from his sleep, I will try and start small talk as he is waking up. I say, 'mornin sexy", "you get enough rest", "how ya feeling" etc etc. All of this makes him angry. And he absolutey refuses to tell me anything about his back injury anymore or talk of anything that might bother him physically. I told him I was worried about his health, so now he simply won't share ANY of it with me.

How is this a fair relationship?

I give up!