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whiskeytangofoxtrot
Female, 36, The South
"Looking forward to 4 days off. :)"
10:48am Wednesday
He still don't get it Mood
Sunday, July 12, 2009 | A Sad story

 

 

This is what my husband put on his facebook a little bit ago.....and then texted me from work to tell me he posted it because he wanted me to read it......

 


"Let's see, (middle daughter) paint'n her toe nails,  (oldest daughter) on myspace ,(youngest daughter) is on her DS playn a game and my lovely bride is watch'n TV in our airconditioned house. me? I'm goin to work in a sweaty old shipyard all nite, and I think I'm the "boss". I think I'm gett'n pimped, DAMN!!!"

 

 

This is what I am talking about. This has me very annoyed. Borderline pissed off.  I am going to sit on this for a bit before I go off about it in a journal probably. I know he thinks it's a joke or he's being funny but I don't think it is.

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Comments

  1. Bridget51

    I understand what you are saying, but I have often sent my spouse something that i thought was funny and he did not take it that way at all. Unless there is something underlying that is really bugging you, I would let it go. I used to say to myself...is this the hill I want to die on? Maybe he was just being dumb? You can tell from your journals that you love him, even when he pisses you off. I sometimes wish I had reverse on my mouth. Maybe he does too? just a thought.


    Bridget51

  2. 4BooBoo

    I think it is a MAJOR Freudian slip, joke or not. He feels that he is being used. My H has/had done the same thing and it frustrated me and still does to know end. It sounds as if both yours and my H continues to try to make themselves the Martyrs. I know its annoying and frustrating and infuriating , believe me I know. The bigger problem is though that his preceptions of being used is only in his own mind. There isn't one thing you can really do to change his viewing of the world. My H would do all these things on the pretense that he "had to do it for me" but it was never for me it was never for anyone else but himself. The feel guilty I think. Guilty of the thoughts they have and wrong they do and so they put themselves in a precieved hell and servitude to make up for thier wrong doings. What I had to do to remedy this is to not allow him to do anything. I do it all for myself. It has worked for the most part for me simply because he has no choice but to own up for his own actions and behavior and to either change them or continue to feel his guilt. Mind you while I was gone yesterday he went and sealed the driveway. I believe he did this because he feels guilty for leaving here soon. I know your frustration and really the only thing I can suggest you do is to confront him about it. Don't allow it to fester. No resolve will come from this. Trust me I know.
    ((((hugs)))))(((((hearts))))((((hope))))


    4BooBoo

  3. Bridget51

    You have to admire a man who is proud of taking care of his family. It's hard to admire a man who seems to resent it. I agree, this junk is irritating. I know first hand. Sorry Whiskey....it's the pits.


    Bridget51

  4. whiskeytangofoxtrot

    Boo, so you think I should tell him that it bothers me? He brought it up again this morning. He really just thinks he was being funny. I think it's just another perfect example of him trying to make himself look like a hero.


    whiskeytangofoxtrot

  5. 4BooBoo

    WTF

    Yeah I thinkif it bothers you then get it out in the open. I think it's a matter of how you approach it though. I sort of agree with KingDeramo too. Remember me telling you about reading the book The Five Love Languages. One of my H's languages is words of appreciation and this may also be the case with yours. But I also know from first hand experience that you can only say thank you so many times before it no longer means what was intended and so it just becomes words and nothing more. Tell him that you appreciate him doing all he does. And that you do notice his actions and tell him that you hope he notices yours. Ask him if he feels unappreciate and if so then what specifically can you do to show him otherwise. This has to be very specific or it won't work. Also let him know of your frustration. Don't sit there and continue to think and simmer and feel okay great you are doing what you are suppose to and I am doing what I am suppose to kudos for us both now get over it. Tell me if I am wrong in that is not what you are feeling. I say this because this is exactly how I felt. Just try to remember though that you have to meet half way. You have to make an effort and then sit back and see if he will do the same. It takes two of you to change this.


    4BooBoo

  6. KingDeramo

    4BooBoo is dead on. Thank You with nothing to go behind it becomes just words words words that feel insincere and forgotten as quickly as they were spoken.

    actions

    now there is a language I understand

    deramo


    KingDeramo

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