whiskeytangofoxtrot's Journal

I've been home for a week.

I've missed the girls terribly and love being back home with them. They really need a female figure right now. Our relationships are good, I have smart, strong, intelligent girls. Im very proud.

My girlfriend is coming to town this weekend. Im looking forward to it. I can actually do things with her and have no fear of upsetting him or pissing him off. I've told him flat out we will do a few things together when she is here.

I don't know how Im doing right now. He is still on night shift so I sleep alone and I sleep like a baby. I enjoy it way too much I think. But I havent had sleep this good in years in my own house. I know its because he's not in bed with me waking me up all night.

Im working out as I want with no slack or attitude from him. Im glad. I never understood why it upset him to start with.

I have begun working on getting on new orders(job in military speak) so I can get back to work. Right now I am unemployed technically so I'd really like to get back to work, just to give me something productive to do.

I told him that I wasn't planning on coming home at one point, so I know he is aware and trying. I respect him for it.

His sleep continues to be erratic and annoy me but he knows and it's his choice to not try and take care of himself in that matter. I do not argue with him about it. I simply go on about my business and when he slept all day yesterday(literally other than one hour) and then went to work again,  I believe he realized that I don't and won't stop living because he chooses to do so. He woke up at 4pm today and spent the evening with me and the girls and I enjoyed it and rewarded him for it in my own little way. And made no mention of yesterdays sleep marathon. He'll either figure it out or he won't.

It has only been a week since I've been home. It's too soon to tell I think but Im not ready to run yet so it may be a good thing. Im not sure. I just don't know what to think. I know that right now when he holds me I really enjoy it and feel safe and comforted. I just hope it gets stronger as time passes. He is trying and so am I.