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whiskeytangofoxtrot 
8:00am, October 19, 2009
First things first........
My baby got her liscence yesterday. I cannot believe that my baby can now drive the streets in a truck all by herself!!! I am sooooo nervous about this. I know she'll be fine, shes an awesome kid but Im soooo scared.
AND.........
I will be seeing him this evening and for the next two days. I have decided that I am not going to play with this anymore. I am going to put all of my effort and heart into this weekend and if I cannot find safety and security in his arms I am going to tell him before he leaves that I will not be coming home.
I have already checked all my options for work. I can stay up here and get started, I know it is feasible so I will be good. My main concern is if I do not go home, I want to talk to the girls face to face about this if I do decide to not come home. I cannot allow them to ever feel like I am abandoning them.
I have accepted the fact that if I do leave him I am going to hurt him. There is nothing I can do about it. I simply cannot just "settle" for the rest of my life.
I have to tell my CDR on Tuesday what I am doing. He will let me stay here on orders for another month or two if I need to. That gives me a little more security.
Im scared! (probably because I already know what I have to do)
But it's time.
Comments
congrats to your daughter!!! its normal to be scared for her but getting her liense is going to give her so much more independence!! that's exciting!!
and good for you being strong! no sense in you being unhappy for the sake of not hurting someone else...tough decision but i think you're making the right one!!
i hope everything works out!! (((hugs)))
ammc
Much congrats for your daughter. Watch out road here she comes (giggle giggle).
I truely hope you find some peace in your life and to find somewhere to make a choice. deep breaths and try your best not to judge or make blind choices. Keep them open for everything both good and bad. I hope you find your truth.
4BooBoo