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emeraldskye 
Well, where to start. Last week, I went to the doctor because my cycle was messed up, probably from all the steroids injected into my body the last couple of years by my pain docs. Anyway, at that time, I asked for my screening mammogram (age 35). I got my appt. and had it done. The next day, the mammogram center called to ask me to come back for some more views to be taken of a suspicious looking area. I went back, and they couldn't decide with the extra views if it was okay or not, so they did an ultrasound. Well, the ultrasound was not good either. They scheduled me for an aspiration and possible biopsy this coming thursday, the 12th of February. Meanwhile, today, I had to go for a pre-appointment that is supposed to decide whether or not I am eligible for doing radiofrequency based on short-acting numbing agents injected directly over nerves they identified in the neuralscan I had done recently. I went in like always for my injections, a little apprehensive, but ok since I know they give me good sedatives at my regular pain doc. Well, someone forgot to tell me that I would not be getting any sedatives for this procedure as it was important for me to be wide awake and alert the entire procedure. OMG!!! I freaked when the girl who usually injects my sedative just sat back and relaxed and I said, well, aren't you going to put some stuff in my IV? She said, "oh, no, didn't they tell you, you don't get sedation for this." Meanwhile, I'm on the table with my ass hanging out when I get this news. I don't deal well at all with this kind of crap thrown at me and no time to absorb it. Instantly my heart monitor went wild, and the tears started rolling down my face. The doctor tried to ask me about my family to calm me down, asked if everyone was ok, but that was probably the last thing I wanted to talk about. I started telling him about the biopsy I'm expecting in the next two days, and that I may have breast cancer to top it all off. When I got off the table, that's when it all hit me really really hard. I was furiously angry with anyone in my path and my anxiety level shot through the roof. I started sobbing uncontrolably and screaming at the nurses. They asked what they could do to help me and along with a few choice expletives, I told them if they weren't going to put any f****** valium or#$%*(#$*%#$ versed in my IV they could take the damn thing out. I told them NEVER to surprise me again like that. They suggested I was raising my blood pressure to a level too high when I shot back at them that they better be glad I'd recently been put on meds for that or I'd probably be having a stroke at that moment. Oh my God, they must hate me!!! Finally, the nurse I like the most came out and gave me a hug, and told me she was really sorry that she wasn't aware that the docs office didn't inform me of the procedure. I was finally able to start calming down, but here we are 4 hours later and I'm still bursting into tears spontaneously. The good news is I'm apparently going to be a candidate for the radiofrequency stuff since the injection this morning hit the right spot, and I was pain free for a very short amount of time (couple of hours). Shew!!! One hard freakin week. Can it please be over? Please?
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Went to the pain doc yesterday and had a neuralscan. Don't know exactly what it is supposed to show, I just know the areas that hurt the most I couldn't feel the little electrode thing they were touching to my skin. I guess that's what they were looking for.
Anyway, they have decided to switch my pain meds from the duragesic patch to avinza. I will be starting this on monday or tuesday whenever the pharmacy gets it in. They tried to cut my Lortab back from 3 a day to 2 a day at the same time. I pleaded with them not to change the Lortab now as I had been trying to get by on the 3 a day they prescribed this last month and had taken 7 pills more than I should have through the month. I now have a week left to deal with 2 pills a day, and it will be hell. I am actually drinking some vodka now to help numb the pain as I took my last 1/2 pill at 4pm and am starting to hurt again. Still a couple hours to go til bedtime. Yippee! This time, they agreed to let me have the 3 a day. However, it's still a week until I can get back to the 3 a day.
I guess they don't realize that when they cut us back, we have to cope any way we can. I personally use alcohol because it's all I have. I wish I knew of anything else that helped. I've tried everything. The only thing left is to "medicate" with the alcohol. The really sad thing is that my 9 year old son watched me pour it tonight and asks me why I like it. How do you tell them it's not that I like it, I have no other choice to help kill the pain. You can't explain it to them. I never get "drunk" around them, I only have one or two, but still they see it. I can't tell him it's to kill pain, he might grow up thinking it's ok anytime you have a "pain" (heartbreak or whatever), to turn to alcohol. I don't want them to think that. Anyway, I'm sure someday that the extra nsaids, excedrin, alcohol, will take it's toll on my body. I just don't know what else to do. Quite honestly, I'm hoping it will take a toll, a big one. Then I won't have to worry about what medicine they're giving me or not. I'll just be gone. Maybe someday....maybe! Or maybe I'll end up worse off than I am now. That would be my luck!
Wow, what an entry. So sorry!
Well, the hell I went through getting the last set of injections about a month ago is apparently all for naught. The jerk doc said it would last 6 months to 2 years, I don't know in what universe! It's been only a month, and the pain has been in the process of returning for the last week and a half. I have been trying to tell myself it wasn't really coming back, but I can't deny it any longer. It's definitely back, and now I'm stuck with a prescription for fewer Lortab each day. Luckily I get to go to my regular pain doc this tuesday and discuss this problem, but not sure if they will put me back on my regular dose or not. Even still, I really need a total med change. It's just not effective like it used to be. Someone posted about a new pain med coming out in Canada made with the puffer fish poison that is not addictive, doesn't lose it's effectiveness and just plain and simply kills the pain. Anyone know more about it? Also, radiofrequency or rhizotomy has been mentioned. Anyone have experience with this?
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Goal Updated
WOW!!! I feel for you and I'm right there with you! I'm here for everything you need! Please contact me to vent, cry, get support, anything!!! I'm here and although my situation is a bit different, I'm right there with you right now... I understand... And I care a ton!!!
Much love,
Lisa
LisaNeedsHelp
Hi Emerald
It's me Doxy..haven't been here for a while but the last week or so ....
I am so sorry that you are going through this but I did want to tell you that I went through the exact same thing several years ago...
they found several areas in my breast one in particular I had the same thing as you x ray then ultra sound then I had a stereotatic biopsy it is like a sewing maching needle that goes in and out and as it is biopysing the area in question it is also removing it..
I went through HELL thinking I had cancer and I am so very afraid of needles that I even put off the procedure for almost 6 months...I knew if it was cancer by that time it would have spread but I am that afraid of needles.....my dr knew how upset I was because I lost about 20 pounds over worry...my clothes were hanging off of me anyhow the results came back on a friday afternoon and my dr was so nice she personally called me so I could relax the entire weekend knowing my results came back negative!
So my dear friend there is hope ...it is going to be ok...even if it is malignant at least they found it and there is so much help now days that your prognosis is great!
Just to let you know Iam praying for you and want you to let me know when you find out rather it is good or not ok?
as far as your other dr goes Iam surprised that you are still doing those injections from that monster LOL.....but that is what it sounds like.....
those shots you get are NOT good for you....if they help you a lot then I support you fully cuz I know what pain feels like 24 /7 ....but if they are not helping you really......maybe you could not take them anymore....especially since they hurt so much....didn't you talk about this dr not too long ago doing this same nonsense "not giving you anything for pain before injecting you"?
Ok one more thing....I just went to a new dr for pain...and he refused to give me any pain medications.....unless I agreed to trigger point injections....well needless to say since I already shared with you my grand fear of needles...I went out of his office shaking and called a different dr that I will be going to that is not requiring me to be injected....
Iam relieved ...yeah my pain is really bad but taking injections is just beyond my capabilities!
I hope your feeling better and your new treatments will help you .....can you tell me a little more about this procedure you will be getting and I dont quite understand why you were not allowed to have sedative in your iv this time?
Hugs
XO
Doxy
Doxy