I asked my kids today if they will be sending their dad a Happy Father's Day card - they both said NO. I guess I don't blame them with all the shit he's pulled lately but it still makes me sad. Will I force them this year like I did last year, absolutely not. They are young adults and if they don't feel they can send a card from the heart, then that is their decision.
It didn't have to be this way. He's handled it all so badly and of course blames me for their feelings. Whatever!!!!
I will be sending my ex father in law a card because that's just who I am but I'm sure it will be the last one I will be sending. The inlaws are not even speaking to me anymore anyway but this is still something I need to do. Kind of a final closure. The card doesn't call him "Dad" like I usually would have sent, just basic Happy Father's Day. My conscience is totally clear with this issue. I know I haven't done or said anything to them that warrants their treatment of me. So, I will take the high road, again, and just be who I've always been.
Join Now
Seems like you always take the high road. The only road to take. In the long run it will have to pay off somehow.
My kids don't want to send their father a card or do anything either. He moved but of course did not tell them so they would not even know where to send it. They think he is still a mile away and he is about 40 now. These men, they surely lost the most important part of it all, their children. Hope mine see the whole picture as yours do.
sunshine5
This is so difficult. I'm sure my ex blames me for my children not having a great relationship with him but it's only his fault. I know he loves them but he's on to greener pastures.
It's not your problem any longer. If the kids call him, great. If they don't, too bad so sad.
Stay strong my friend.
sld1
I'm so happy that you're journaling. Let your children do as they see fit for Father's Day. I hope that they DON'T send him a card. I know that I should be somewhat encouraging in this matter......but, I don't want to be. He needs to "be" a father to be recognized as one.
Divorce happens everyday. I tire of those that do so much emotional damage to their children (on going). It's very hard for children of any age to handle. It puts them in an awful sad and uncomfortable situation. These people that cause so much destruction need to be made accountable for their actions. Not sent cards of appreciation. Like you said about the whole situation "it didn't have to be this way".
Stay strong and believe in yourself. You make a difference. Hugs.
Nan56
I think its great that you choose the high road. In the end you ex will be kicking himself for all he did not do to keep a bond with his kids. Why do these men think that they can walk out on their marriages and forget that children were born of these relationships? I guess will will never know that answer. All we can do is sit back and let what happens with our kids and their fathers happen (good or bad) and be there for them when they need us.
kelmatmom
My youngest doesn't want to get his dad anything. I handed it over to my daughter. She said she'd take care of it.
You are doing the right thing.
zen11