eo213's Journal

Every day is a struggle. I feel lost and so confused. I hate my job and feel that my life has no direction except down. I'm just so tired of going to work everyday, to a job I hate, and struggling to make it through the simplest tasks - making phone calls, sitting through a meeting, asking questions, eating lunch in front of others. Why is every little thing so damn hard? My anxiety and social fears just seem to keep growing. I feel trapped inside myself, stuck at a dead end job, and see no light at the end of the tunnel. Today was just another, typical, bad day for me. I just want so badly for my situation to be different. My therapist says I need to accept things the way they are and only then will they change. Needless to say, I haven't been able to do that. And worst of all, I feel so alone. How can someone like me ever be successful? ever have a career that I love if I continue to struggle this way. I wish there was an easier way. I wish there was some sort of answer to it all. From the outside everything appears fine... but nobody sees how much pain I feel. Nobody sees the darkness so deep inside.