I am breathing today so I guess that means that it is a good day....or not who knows. I am feeling worthless today and I don't know why I feel this way anymore. I always feel as though I don't matter. My family and friends go about their daily lives and I am always left alone. However whenever they need someone to lean on or count on I am the first phone call they make. I am tired....so tired of everything.
I tried to think back to when these feelings started and I was really scared when I realized that I started feeling this way when I was a child, approx. 8. I have been dealing with this for almost 21 years. I have tried everything to make these feelings stop (self medicating, cutting, eating disorders, legal medicating, etc.) I just want to feel wanted or worth something even if it is just for one day. Some days I am so numb that I cannot remember the last time that I laughed. I wish someone could help me fill this hole, fix what is broken, listen to my cries, make it all go away....................





