Join Now
tigersnow0214 
4:00pm, December 2, 2008
God - I have the blues so bad tonight. I actually bought ice cream - I can't turn to food everytime I get depressed but tonight has been really bad.
Everything is supposed to be shut off tomorrow - I feel awful. He doesn't know. He keeps thinking I'm still in the state - that I'm going to come home for lunch and see him. I drove over 1500 miles to get away from him - I'm not there.
I'm depressed because I left a 65K a year job, I left my house, my other cat - I left everything - because he wouldn't go. And now I'm going to take a customer service job - making a whopping $9 an hour - I am just feeling sorry for myself.
I also feel bad for him - he sounds so depressed on the phone. I know I shouldn't even listen to the messages - because sometimes I get sad then I get angry.
He left a message for me today telling me "I would do anything for you - I would change anything you wanted me to change." Why would you change now? I begged you and begged you so many times before to make changes - and you never did.
The thing that pisses me off the most is all he had to do was be nice to me - nothing else - just BE NICE TO ME. I would have put up with almost anything else - anything but the abuse - and he just couldn't stop.
He keeps telling me - I didn't touch you this time - THIS TIME! What about all the other times?
Ugh! I know once I start working - no matter how sucky it is - I'll feel better. Thank goodness I don't have credit cards because I would totally be going through them. I shop when I get depressed.
Okay....I'm done.
Oh...and then - I had my nails done yesterday - I love getting my nails done - and the guy - I don't know exactly what he did but they dried horribly so they had to strip off all the polish and restart - yeah...nails and a pedicure - I was there over 4 hours.
The topper - I added a tip to my credit card - and they charged me twice.
Nice...
Comments
So...he left a vm and said it was urgent b/c the basement was flooded. He wanted me to call the landlord. I sent him a text, I'm not there - not coming back and gave him the phone.
He called back and told me I still owed him money, the rent had to be paid...etc...etc...
Same old bs...and I was feeling sorry for him earlier.
WHAT A JOKE!
I'm glad he reminds me every day...it's already the 16th - it's like how much longer do you think you're going to be able to stay?
Wait till everything gets shut off tomorrow...
tigersnow0214
well he will be so happy when everything gets shut off won't he. At least he won't be able to call and whine at you. My ex had all my ulitites schedule to be shut off but it was kind of wierd considering everything was in just my name but they still were going to shut it off...they actually did shut my phone off. Just stay away from him and don't let him know you have left the state. Let him keep dreaming about the fact you will be coming back to him but don't. Because you are better than that and deserve better than that!!!
nhcountrygril
Its too bad you always end up feeling sorry for him. He isn't inept. He isn't without some ability to change his life for the better. We get what we put out. How is it you can't get a job like the one you had before that paid so well? Man I wish I made that much. I wouldn't have to find a roommate! Anyway, there is such a thing as government assistance. If he is so mentally unwell, he can get more disability right? He isn't a baby. He is an adult, grown man who seemed to have no problem when it came to hurting you so why do you always feel sorry for him? Stop that girl! Reroute your mind when it goes there. He doesn't deserve or need your pity. Turn off your phone. Cancel it. And if he was really nice that would seriously have been enough for you? What about all the other stuff you couldn't stand. Like the lame friends he brought over, how he drank and smoked and didn't work or do anything at all? Or how he sold you stuff or how you couldn't watch the same movies together?
Anyway, hang in there! This isn't an easy move and you are standing true to yourself by staying where you are and starting a new life. I hope you family is of support. Are you an only child? I hope you are surrounded with love and hugs and encouragement. Keep up the good work! And remember, DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR HIM! He certainly doesn't feel sorry for you! You have all my prayers and love...
keeta35
A wise person once told me that a relationship is all about "what you can tolerate." You just couldn't tolerate any more. That doesn't mean that you didn't love him, or that you shouldn't feel sorry for him now (regardless of whether or not he deserves it).
It's over. It's really over. That's sad for you, AND for him, even if he was a jerk toward you. I'm sure that he loved you, even if it wasn't the right kind of love. Even if it wasn't the right kind of love, it's the only kind of love that he knows. I don't doubt that he's hurting now, just like you. It's okay to feel sad and lonely. It's okay to miss him, and feel sorry for him. Heck, it's okay to change your mind and go back, if that's what you want to do. There are no rules here. This is your life. I just don't like the way so many people will make you feel stupid for feeling sorry for someone you loved, or maybe still love, and know is suffering.
I can guarantee that if you did go back, it would be exactly the same. He might make very small steps over time toward being nicer to you, but all in all, it would remain the same deal.
cli3nt