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LindaSWR 
Hello Everyone,
How is everyone doing? I hope you are doing well. I had an "ok" weekend. How was yours? I just want to know WHY we still put up with the men we marry when we know we don't belong with them anymore! That is so frustrating. How do we get the courage to make that FIRST step in the direction we should be going. Why do we keep letting them walk all over us?
I feel like I'm just going around in circles with this 3 way love triangle. I know he doesn't care about me anymore and just NEEDS me for the "wifely duty" thing! After being together for 32 years, he has become a part of my soul, but I need to change that somehow. Hope you don't mind me venting today. I have to start thinking about myself. He is not physically abusive, but he has 3 jobs and we hardly ever see each other because he is always working at one of his jobs, and he makes it very obvious that he doesn't want my company (outside of the bedroom, that is). I have moved into my own bedroom and I actually LOVE it there! I sleep there and we can go days on end without having to see each other. He does not want to communicate about our marriage problem (the OW). I will, but he won't. Well, enough of me venting. Sorry, but I had to let it out.
Hugs to you all,
LindaSWR
Stockholm, N.J.
Comments
Hi Linda,
You put up with it because even though you're not happy you know what to expect because you have been with him for 32 years! It's fear of the unknown. Venturing out on your own now may be a bit tricky and scary. I had 2 young children so I know. Plus, I don't know how you feel about it, but I was really worried about what other people were going to think about me divorcing. And I also felt like I was a failure somehow. Counseling REALLY helped me. It helped me work through all these emotions and helped me get rid of the guilt that I felt. No matter what you decide to do it sounds like you need to make the first step. Plus forgive me if this is too bold, but why are you sleeping with him at all? He's sleeping with another woman and you feel it's "your duty" to keep him satisfied???? Linda, forgive me but I think he's showing you a total lack of respect. Honey, please find someone you can talk to so you can sort out all these issues. Good luck! I know it's soooo hard especially since you don't know what's out there.
lisaj63
I moved out of the bedroom too and loved having my own space. Maybe it's a sign.
I would have stayed with my cheating SOB ex, but I would have missed the sanctuary of having my own room, and his juvenile interpretation of intimacy. I miss him, and I would have worked it out, but he found the love of his life, who would make him happy in the bedroom, who didn't need her own space. Sigh!
Bert55
Sorry you are having these problems.It would be hard to leave someone you have been with so long.Just think about you and your needs.You are important and deserve a good relationship.Hugs.
reffas
You have been with him so long, that's all you know. That has been your life for so long. It's hard to think of your life any other way. But now you need to start thinking about you. What is important to you? First thing on your list should be YOU! Stop sleeping with him to satisfy HIS needs! If he wants to be with that OW then let him go there to get what he needs! How dare him treat you that way. You deserve so much more than that! Good luck and Take care!!!
SinCityMama