LindaSWR's Journal

Hi Everyone,  

I was lying in bed and I t hink I was having an anxiety attack with sweating and my heart palpitating.      Then while this was happening and it had finally passed, I thought to myself:  I need to take charge of my life and make some changes, at least the ones that I can fix myself. 

I have to start with giving my marriage TOP PRIORITY and telling my husband that "either he wants to make our marriage work and save it (which means ending it with his co-worker emotional affair), or if not, we need to divorce!!!  I plan on having a long talk with him about it tonight, but I first have to make sure that he is in a good mood when he gets home.  He once told me when I found out about his infidelity that he wants BOTH of us...me and his co-worker girlfriend!  That is not what I want my marriage to be like!!!  Anyway, talking to him about our marriage is on the TOP of my list of stresses to deal with. 

I can't  live like this anymore when he thinks he can have intimate relations with me at home, and go on to work and give her presents and romantic cards, and treat her like she's a queen.  She is married with two adult children, and one granddaughter, and her husband works in the same place they do!  Go figure that, huh?  I'm surprised that he gets away with it.   Maybe the husband knows and doesn't care what my husband does, just as long as they don't have sex together.  After all, my husband DID leave her a life insurance policy in her name!!!   He still has intimate relations with me.   Usually, that stops with the wife, doesn't it, if there is a physical affair going on?  That's what makes me think that it is just an emotional affair, and not physical, but an emotional affair can be just as damaging to a marriage.  

Then the other stressful situation is my job.  I need to ask for a promotion because it's very hard paying any bills at all with the money that I make.  I'm really scraping the barrel, so to speak.  My first boss is very helpful and he is very nice and will help me with any goals on my job that I want to reach, but the other boss is horrible and doesn't care about what I want to achieve on my job. 

Then I have to get my health in check since I just found out that my cholesterol has risen.  That's not good.  So I am going to make a STRESS PLAN list for myself to follow and, hopefully, find some solutions to all these problems that I have.   

Well, write when you can.  Thank you for being a "shoulder" for me.  I want to be the same for you, too, whenever you need support.  I hope you all have a good day and I hope it is stress-free.

Hugs, 

Linda R.

Stockholm, NJ