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Kenzy 
OMG! WHERE TO START? WELL, ON MEMORIAL DAY I ATTEMPTED SUICIDE...THAT'S RIGHT. 50 PILLS, AND ALL IT GOT ME WAS A 48 HR. NAP AND A TRIP TO THE MENTAL WARD AT MERCY HOSPITAL. IT HAS BEEN A FEW MONTHS NOW AND I AM GETTING BETTER. I SEE A THERAPIST EVERY WEEK AND SHE IS HELPING. I STILL SHARE AN APT. WITH MY EX...NEITHER OF US IS WILLING OR READY TO LEAVE THE APT.
HE HAS BEEN SEEING SOMEONE FOR A WHILE NOW...WE HAVE A RULE...NO WOMEN ARE ALLOWED HERE...IT IS MY HOME AND I AM SIMPLY NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THAT. LIKEWISE IF I WOULD BEGIN TO DATE SOMEONE ELSE. I AM TRYING TO BE HIS FRIEND BUT AS I HAVE EXPLAINED TO HIM...I NEED TIME...LOTS OF IT.
LET'S SEE, WHAT ELSE? OH YEAH, I JUST GOT HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL TODAY...I HAD TO HAVE SURGERY YESTERDAY...MY GALLBLADDER WAS TAKEN OUT. I AM DOING OK...LOADS OF PAIN BUT IT WILL GET BETTER.
UMMM...OK, 2 MONTHS AGO I STARTED RUNNING...I AM NOW UP TO 3.5 MILES...AND I AM PLANNING ON RUNNING THE GREAT RACE HERE IN PGH ON SEPT. 27. I AM SO VERY PROUD OF MYSELF AND VERY VERY EXCITED. GUYS, I AM RUNNING THIS ONE FOR ALL OF YOU HERE...EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU.
OH AND LAST WEEK I JOINED MATCH.COM AND I HAVE GONE OUT ON ONE DATE SO FAR...HE WAS VERY GOOD LOOKING AND WE GOT ALONG PRETTY WELL (WE EVEN MADE OUT A LITTLE) AND HE LOVED MY HAIR AND THE WAY THAT I LOOKED. IT MADE ME HAPPY. WE ARE GOING TO TRY AND SEE EACH OTHER ONCE I AM BETTER.
SO, I STILL CARE FOR MY EX...I HONESTLY DO...BUT HE HAS HURT ME MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE EVER HAS...I CAN'T FORGIVE HIM YET NOR CAN I LOOK INTO HIS EYES BUT I NO LONGER WANT TO HURT MYSELF OVER HIM...HE ISN'T WORTH THE ANGER, THE CRYING, OR THE SADNESS...I WANT TO MOVE ON AND BE HAPPY. AND ALL I CAN SAY ABOUT HIM IS THAT HE IS "COMMON"...AND I WANT MORE THAN THAT...I AM SPECIAL AND I AM UNIQUE AND I DESERVE AND DEMAND FAR MORE THAN COMMON.
LOVE TO YOU ALL AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR UNDYING SUPPORT OVER THE PAST FEW MONTHS...
XOXO, EMMIE
Comments
I HAVE MISSED YOU DARLING... I AM GLAD THAT YOU ARE DOING BETTER... KICK THAT MAN TO THE CURB, MOVE ON TO YOURSELF AS YOUR PRIMARY FOCUS, AND THE MAN WILL COME ALONE WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT... THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED FOR ME AFTER KISSING TOADS (OK, MAY A BIT MORE) FOR FOUR LONG YEARS!!
WHEN I DECIDED I WAS DONE WITH MEN, I MET MY CURRENT PARTNER OF NEARLY 12 YEARS... I'M NOT SIGNING ANY CONTRACTS THIS TIME, BUT I THING WE'RE IN FOR THE LONG HAUL... WHAT CAN I SAY??? IT WAS HE CLEAR AND TRUE BLUE EYES, AND THOSE CALLOUSED HANDS THAT NEEDED EXTRA LOTION MASSAGED IN...
YOU ARE SOOOOOO MUCH YOUNGER THAN ME!!! YOU HAVE SOOOOOO MUCH TIME TO LIVE AND LOVE AND LAUGH!!! KICK THAT OLD MAN TO THE CURB, FIND A NEW PLACE, AND MOVE ON.... OH DEAR, I SOUND SOOOOO OLD....
LOVE YOU DARLING!!! GLAD YOU ARE BACK HERE, HOPE YOU ARE AROUND A BIT MORE, OR I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING FUN SOMEWHERE WITH THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL LOVER!!! XOXOXO CJ
ddeadred
CLEARLY, I SUD HAVE PROOF-READ PERFOR I POSTED, BUT AS YOU CAN SEE HERE, MY COGNITIVE IS NOT FINDING THE CORRECT SPELLINGS ANYWAY... PLEASE UNDERSTAND FROM YOU FRIEND WITH MS SINCE 1986... XO CJ
ddeadred
oh, i feel so badly for you. kick that man to the curb. you will never truly get over him while he is in the house.
go for a man who is worth of you. MS is so tough to deal with; you need a man who will treat you like a princess.
my husband treats my disease like it does not exist. please do not put up with that because you will have most unhappy life.
and, no more pills please; you hurt us.
we send you love,
twinks
twinklee1
I'm really delighted to see that you're doing so well. I'm very jealous of the running and wish you well for the race.
There will be better men and times ahead, so take your time and do what's right for you.
Take care
x
joblet
3.5 miles?! Fucking awesome-- allow me to live vicariously through you :) Kick ass in that race! Meanwhile, since the old boyfriend was the one who wanted to end the relationship, why can't he be the one to move out? He really needs to go.
flibbidyfloo
SO NICE TO SEE YOU HERE! OMG 3,5 MILES, I COULDN'T DO IT EVEN WHEN I WAS "HEALTHY"; THATS REALLY INCREDIBLE. I AGREE WITH FLOO, HE SHOULD MOVE OUT...
I'M SO GLAD FOR YOU THAT YOU'RE DOING GOOD...AND I ENVY YOU ALL THE HOT GUYS YOU'LL BE DATING AND MAKING OUT WITH! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, XOXOXOXO SLAVKA
aakvils
What can we say . . .
We're here for you!
Lila4now
you are unique my dear brat...and you so deserve someone special who can see and appreciate that ....know that the others may be right though brat...full closer may not come to you until you are living sepretaly....hard as that may be...sigh.....friendships are not formed from broken relationships.....or broken trust......you deserve so very much more em
but on the other note....smile....good news on getting in shape and looking after your self......keep up with the therapy...please...and know that you are loved
luv ya brat
heather
heather1