ralop's Journal

I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN TONITE I WISH I COULD JUST GO TO THE HOSPITAL AND THEY COULD DRUG ME ENOUGH TO FREEKIN SLEEP.  I AM STRUGGLING WITH AN IGNORANT AND ABUSIVE DOC WHO SAYS SHE WILL STOP PRESCRIBING ME MY MEDS AT THE END OF THE YR IF I DON'T FIND A NEW PAIN MANAGEMENT DOC. I HAVE BEEN IN PAIN EVERY DAY FOR 5 YRS NOW.  I LOST MY LONG TERM DOC A YR AGO AND WAS FORCED TO SEE HIS COLLEGUE WHO HAS HAD ME IN TEARS EVERYTIME I HAVE SEEN HER. I HAVE BEEN CALLING DOCTORS IN THE SALT LAKE CITY UTAH VALLEY FOR A MONTH NOW AND HAVE BEEN TOLD NO NEW PATIENTS ON MEDICARE OR THEY DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH THE PAIN MEDS ON A REGULAR BASIS.  I FEEL SO LOST AND FRUSTRATED AND ANGRY. I GUESS IT IS THAT KIND OF OATH YOU CHOOSE WHO YOU ARE OATHING TO.  IF YOU DONT WANT TO YOU DONT HAVE TO.  I THOUGHT AN OATH WAS LIKE A COMMITTMENT