vantron's Journal

I woke and prayed, Lord thank you for making me your peaceful servent. Help me not be angry or reactive. Bless my children with an understanding mother. ect.  My children woke up argumentative angry and demanding and now I just want to leave. Now they are 13 and 16 and I have certain expectations of them. Apparentently Iam cruel to expect them to pick up their clothing or do dishes.  They ae so upset and I'm the meanest mommy EVER.  I feel moronic to have any expectation of cooperation on a volunteer basis.  Part of me wants to throttle them, part of me wants to hug them yet I know in a few years if all goes normally they'll be gone off to college or where ever and I'll be crying wishing they were here and part of me knows that in this life they could be gone any minute then I really will be crying.  I'm still crying often over my youngst sons father dying last year.  Now I'm praying Lord give me some perspective.  I think He just has.