CATCH UP AND RECONNECT
June 17, 2009 11:33am
hELLO EVERYONE. I'm STILL HERE! I think I'm surprising myself. I used to LOVE being on here all day. I think the only bummer part is I want …
MissChels
8:54am, June 13, 2009
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About Me
MissChels
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About Me
I am a stay at home mom. I have 6 kids. My sons are 19, 18, 17 and my daughters are 13, 9, and 6. My kids have been all that mattered to me for over 19 years!I have depression which seems to be getting worse. I rarely feel happy. I want to enjoy life, feel free from anxiety, fears, and negative thoughts. But I trudge on and hope tomorrow is better. My sister died in 1993. She got hit by a van with a man driving who blamed her cuz he had a green light. I miss her a lot. My childhood was awful. My mom was an alcoholic, but been sober for 24 years now. I had a lot of sexual abuse as a child, I believe that's what ruined me. It is something that scars your soul for life. My dad was a murderer on Cape Cod. He went to jail when I was too young to remember him. He got hung in prison. Theres a book out about him. So growing up in Provincetown was no fun. Your neighbors knew when you sneezed. I was not allowed around other kids or even boys as a teenager, because their parents thought it was hereditary or something. So here I am at 40, trying to carry on in life "normally" and "happy". It hasn't happened yet.
I am a stay at home mom. I have 6 kids. My sons are 19, 18, 17 and my daughters are 13, 9, and 6. My kids have been all that mattered to me for over 19 years!I have depression which seems to be getting worse. I rarely feel happy. I want to enjoy life, feel free from anxiety, fears, and negative thoughts. But I trudge on and hope tomorrow is better. My sister died in 1993. She got hit by a van with a man driving who blamed her cuz he had a green light. I miss her a lot. My childhood was awful. My
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Interests
I love the computer. I like reality TV. I LOVE naps. I like puzzles, knitting, coloring with my girls, etc...
I love the computer. I like reality TV. I LOVE naps. I like puzzles, knitting, coloring with my girls,
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Hello to all my old friends!!!!! I MISS YOU ALL!!
June 13, 2009 8:41am
Hello to all the people I grew to love so much, and now I feel like I don't know so many of you anymore. My mind is in it's 40's, and …
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I have a 3 day weekend, YAY!
October 11, 2008 8:27am
WOW, I actually have a 3 day weekend. That is so awesome. I feel like I live at the woman's house I care for. She has Dementia, and doesn't …
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Good Morning.....................
October 4, 2008 8:55am
Good Morning,
Just a quickie today, to reassure you all I haven't disappeared again. I am about to shower, and pick up a nice rental car, and head …
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LONG TIME NO SEE..........I'm BACK!
October 3, 2008 8:24am
Hello Everyone,
I haven't been on here is a LONG LONG time. I guess I became overwhelmed because i couldn't keep up with everyone, and I had …
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Hugbook
Hug
HUGS TO YOU
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Hug
hugs to you...hope you are doing good
Hug
Well hello my friend!! I have not talked to you in forever since were carrying the babies!! Was hoping you could check out my new journal entry and give me your feedback as im looking for some support from friends K TTYS Have a super night
Hug
Hey you still around?
Flower
Luvs and hugs for you ~~ I just wrote a new journal entry in case you're intersted.....I'd love to see one from you too!!1 (hint hint hint) :)
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI am 39 until April! Then I'll be nasty 4-0! I grew up in an alcoholic home. My mom was a drunk until I was 16. Then she got sober. She had many boyfriends throughout my life. Most of them sexually abused me. As well as my brother. My dad was a murderer in Provincetown MA. He killed 6 women. My town was 3 miles long, so everyone knew everything. I was 3 when he began killing, and 7 when he got hung in prison. I have NO MEMORY of him at all. But I grew up being punished for his acts. DEPRESSION!
Treatments
- Effexor Working / Worked
- didnt work
- Lexapro Working / Worked
- I dont think it works cuz IM MISERABLE. But if I stop, it gets WORSE!
- Prozac Working / Worked
- Been on this and switched. Guess it didnt work!
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- I've been in that off and on my whole life. I never felt like it worked. I hate therapists.
Close Infertility
I have carried for infertile couple three times, and am on my 4th time. I wish I could help everyone. But may be able to give advice or suggestions on IVF or anything pertaining to it.
Treatments
- In Vitro Fertilization Working / Worked
- I am and have been a gestational carrier 4 times. Could possibly help in that direction?
Open Bereavement
Type: Loss of a SiblingMy little sister Chelsea got hit by a car in 1993. She was kept alive on breathing machines until the tests showed brain death, then we had to pull the breathing machine plug. Her heart stopped in 12 minutes. I was 13 when she was born, she was 13 when she died! I will never, nor have never been the same since then.
Treatments
- Crying Somewhat Helpful
- It never gets easier or better!!
- Grief Counseling Not Working
- Just someone to babble to.
- Prayer Somewhat Helpful
- I have faith and a belief in God. I just wonder why people die other than old age.
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- I think counselors r there to make a buck. They don't help.
Open Anxiety
I have anxiety really bad. It goes hand in hand with my Depression and panicky crap! Anxiety feels worse than depression to me!
Treatments
Open Sexual Abuse
I grew up in an alcoholic home. I was sexually abused from the day I can remember. First memory was my older brother always touching, begging, and offering gifts from age 4 until I was 20. And my moms drunken friends/boyfriends always getting me alone and saying touch it for as long as I can remember until I was a teen. Also uncles and any other male.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- I never felt better, still DONT. It ruins a persons life 4 ever!
Open Female Sexual Issues
My boyfriend who is 50 never ever has sex with me anymore! He used to chase me around 24/7 the first 4 years. I'm 11 years younger and want it more than him but it feels like rejection and is painful, so I dont ask anymore. I feel 50! Instead of 39!!
Open Prescription Drug Abuse
I became addicted after having babies and finding something that took depression AWAY and MADE ME HAPPY!
Treatments
- Detox Somewhat Helpful
- I stayed straight a while after, but then had 3 surgeries and was addicted to them for 3 years straight!
- Suboxone Working / Worked
- It helped me not want, desire or seek Oxis, percs, vicodins etc.....
- Support Groups Working / Worked
- Going to meetings helped MOST. If u go daily u get support and friends who are like you and cane support you!
Open Pregnancy
I am on my tenth pregnancy!! I have 6 of my own kids, and carried embryos for 3 couples that resulted in 2 sets of twins and 2 singletons.
Open Menopause
I just turned 40. I have these night sweats that are BRUTAL! I wake up wet like I showered! And I have hot and cold flashes. Someone suggested pre-menopause.
Open Healthy Sex
I was sexually abused and DONT KNOW WHAT healthy sex is. Id like to learn!
Open Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling)
Type: Intermittent Explosive DisorderI pull every gray hair I see between hair colorings. But picking head scabs is the worst.
Open Pregnancy After Loss/Infertility
I have carried 4 times through IVF for 3 different couples. I have 6 of my own, but wanted to help those who couldnt have their own. They use donor eggs, not MINE!
