morejoy

Close Infidelity

My husband and I dated for just over 5 months when we were surprised with our first pregnancy. When I was 7 months prego, I found out about a number of affairs he had been having. Everything changed for us, for the better actually. He swore he was different and we really fell in to true deep love. Our first baby 2003, married 2004, second baby 2005, third 2007. Our second child has a neuroligical issue causing laughing seizures that we have truly been overwhelmed in dealing with and only just yesterday finally got an actual diagnosis! The stress is more than I can explain. Our third was born and my husband came down with the flu before we even got home. Her first two weeks he slept on the couch. Then I had no idea, but now I know he went out to nightclubs immediately upon feeling better. He picked up phone numbers, but nothing more... until one night he met the girl he called several times after. Days later they went out and dated a few times before begining to have sex. They held an affair for 5 months. He led a seperate life and she never had a clue about me or his family. He made up extensive lies to her and to me. I believed the issues that would come up were all me and that he was being abused by his work for the long hours. I now am haunted with every memory that is so blatantly obvious to me now. I am tortured by all the times he said how happy he was with me. I am so out of any self esteeem that I thank God for my children. I found out and he seems to be different. He called her on speaker phone right then and she was devestated. He's working extremely hard to make things right, as he should. I truly feel the love between us. I accept my part in neglecting him before the affair and in my detachment. He says he felt depressed for a long time. I always have to be right, wouldn't listen to anything and would always be sooo angry about everything. I remember him trying to talk to me about things before the affair and I really think he's right. I've lost myself along time ago. I think I wanted to escape too, maybe even before him. I'm just not the cheating kind, so I left in other emotional ways. RIght now my biggest issue is the pain. It's been a month since we've been working on us, including therapy. I can't stop feeling utterly worthless. I'm hoping to get some encouraging help here.

Treatments

Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful

Only 3 friends know no family and noone else. Theyve been amazing but I feel like Im starting to burden them abit at this point.

Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful

I believe in the power of creating your universe. Im having such a hard time truly feeling and believing positive without all the aches and pains of negative weaving in.

Close Sex / Pornography Addiction

I believe my husband is a sex / pornography addict and he even admits it. We have 3 small children under 5 years old. The lies have been going on as long as I can remember and I'm desperate for support and help so that my marriage can work. We love each other, but the lies are destroying us!