Journal Entry for August 13, 2008
August 13, 2008 12:24am
I'm feeling a little better now. It seems like no matter how mad I get at him he still finds some way to make me love …
laura324 
6:53am, August 28, 2008
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About Me
laura324
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About Me
I suffered a miscarriage in march. This was the second miscarriage I've had but the first was at only 8 weeks so this one hit me a lot harder. I was 17 1/2 weeks and I had just found out it was a little boy. My boyfriend and I were so excited that we were having a boy we went out and immediately started buying him things. Not even a week after we found out I thought there was something wrong. I called 3 doctors and they all told me what I was experiencing was normal and I was worrying too much. I went to work like they all told me I should and by 6 o clock the next morning I was in labor. I hurried to the local hospital which doesnt deliver babies but the only one that does is 20 minutes away. I knew I wouldnt make it that long. When I got there no one would listen to me one nurse even said it might be a kidney stone. My water broke there and I was transported by amulance to another hospital. There I had an ultrasound which determined there was no heartbeat. For the next couple hours they induced my labor and I delivered my baby boy lifeless. My boyfriend and I both held him and told him how sorry we were. We named him Zachary. Now all I have is a memory box of his hat, bracelet, footprints and a blanket. We had him cremated and I wear his ashes around my neck. I will never forget my little boy but it doesnt take away the constant lump in my throat. I miss him more than I've ever missed anyone in my life.
I suffered a miscarriage in march. This was the second miscarriage I've had but the first was at only 8 weeks so this one hit me a lot harder. I was 17 1/2 weeks and I had just found out it was a little boy. My boyfriend and I were so excited that we were having a boy we went out and immediately started buying him things. Not even a week after we found out I thought there was something wrong. I called 3 doctors and they all told me what I was experiencing was normal and I was worrying too much. I
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Interests
Music, concerts, spending time with friends and family. Also of course spending time with my boyfriend and his daughter. Going out occasionally and having a few drinks.
Music, concerts, spending time with friends and family. Also of course spending time with my boyfriend
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Journal
This entry is private
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This entry is private
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new start
July 30, 2008 11:07am
I am going to try like hell to get my life back together. I will never be ok from losing Zachary and I know that but I need …
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emotional
July 29, 2008 4:32pm
Last night my boyfriend and I were hanging out and decided to stop at the mcdonalds. Well the girl who used to work with my …
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Hugbook
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Sending lots of support.
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I am sending you big hugs also sending you support and love. take care!
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I am so sorry for your loss, you will find great support on this site. BIG HUGS
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Just want you to know, that I'm thinking about you & praying for you. I hope you're feeling okay.
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Hug
I am so heartly sorry for your loss. I could not imagine going through what you went through. You are in my thoughts and prayers!
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Photos
laura324 hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Support Groups
Close Miscarriage
I lost my son at 17 1/2 weeks. I had an ultrasound 4 days before and he was perfect. Then I started to cramp up and noticed some leaking. The Dr. told me it was normal but by the next morning I was in labor. My water broke in the hospital and the following ultrasound showed no heartbeat. I was induced that day and delivered him at 12:03am. My baby was lifeless when I held him, but he was perfect. We named him Zachary. We held him and told him we were sorry but it isn't enough.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- I went to one session with a counselor and it was like talking to a mirror. She didn't offer any advice just told me what I already know....I am depressed, I have a lot of anger and I need to work through all of it. I think it was pointless so I'm not going back.
- Effexor Somewhat Helpful
- It makes me feel OK day to day but whenever something happens to upset me I lose it. I still sob uncontrollably and I have this lump in my throat. I dont know if Ill ever get better.
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- I talk but I think a lot of people just think I should get on with my life.
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI have always been a little more miserable than my friends. I just dealt with it for a long time. Then I really knew what it was like to be sad. I had a miscarriage at 8 wks. I went into a long depression that my current boyfriend pulled me out of. Then sure enuff I had to be sad again. I lost my 2nd baby at 17 1/2 wks. I had to deliver him naturally and we both held him. His name is Zachary and there isnt a day that goes by that I don't shed a tear for him. Now Im just lost..........
Treatments
- Effexor Not Working
- stopped this about 2 weeks ago. It gave me horrible side effects like being itchy all over, feeling like I had a fever and being dizzy.
- Lexapro Too Soon to Tell
- Just started. It calms me down which is a plus but I still have really bad panic attacks.
- Psychotherapy Not Working
- I went and it was like talking to a mirror. She came up with the fact that I was depressed. Good thing I went there cuz otherwise I wouldn't have known........
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- Everyone tries but no one my age is quite as miserable as me right now so its hard to find people who understand.
- Cymbalta Working / Worked
- Kinda soon to tell but so far so good.
Open Diets & Weight Maintenance
Treatments
- Counting Calories Working / Worked
- this worked when I was younger but I was literally eating about 300 calories a day. I know that isnt healthy and sure enough once all the weight was off and I started to try to eat normal it came back.
- Eating Healthier Foods Working / Worked
- this works to an extent but I still give in to cravings
- Eat Less Working / Worked
- LA Weight Loss Working / Worked
- This started to work and then I got pregnant for the first time. Then after my mc i was so depressed that I just didn't care to go back.
- Physical Exercise Working / Worked
- I used to work out all the time and I looked good during it but I don't have time to do what I used to.
