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vonni 
2:35pm, October 30, 2009
I am hopeless. I cant do anything... I know it sounds dramatic but its so true. I have tried so hard this year to make it.. to go to school and be normal...but I cant. I am sick of denying the fact that I am a purposeless human being.... Im not saying this for advice.. infact please hold the consolement and advising. I just need to let my emotions out.... I want people to read this... so they know me... so they know that when I say I CANT do something.. Im not lying. Im really tired of people telling me I can do things. You arent me. You dont know me. Even if your really close to me.. theres so much you dont know. I cant get a job.... I hate commitment when it comes to leaving the house and having to be somewhere at a certain time.... Im even having trouble with correspondance... Im having trouble with everything....how am I suppose to live when all I can do.. is nothing... Im a HUGE dissapointment to my family and Im influencing my siblings horribly...My brother can like.. never have friends over becuase Im always home crying and breaking down. My friends are moveing in the summer, which really eliminates the last of my purposes in life and I just wish people could accept that... Not everyone can be fixed.... Ive learned that... I live it everyday..and I just cant wait until other people learn it too and stop wasteing their time on something so stupid...
Comments
:| not true
hillarycm123
Well... if you were me you would think differently.
vonni
you are not a waste of time and you are not stupid
Vtaz
I can really only reply with the same thing as above.
vonni
If you truly thought you were worthless, you wouldn't be here.
Wasit
Im not about to give u advice or pat u on the back and say life is ducky u can pull thru..So im just gonna say i read it,understand where ur comin from.I deffinately relate,more then u know.
FatesIrony
you're wrong.
if you truly think not everyone can be fixed, then why are you still here...just like the person above me said.
obviously, there's still a shred of hope for you to better yourself. wallowing in your own self pity isnt going to do anything.
get off your ass and try to change it. you say you cant get a job? start with finding a very lax part time internship somewhere, or maybe try babysitting for a bit.
because youre right, you can't live a life thinking all those things. you cant do anything with yourself if you can't commit to some kind of responsibility.
yes, things are gonna suck. life sucks. and its not ever fair. but even if you remotely want something, its up to you. no one on here can give you advice on hoe to feel better, or reassure you it'll be ok. and thats exactly why im giving it to you so harshly like this. because i care about you as a person, and i know there's still a piece of you that can do this.
just because you hate something, doesnt mean you don't do it. i hate my job, but i need money to pay gas and insurance, so i suck it up and do it.
youre right...i DONT know you.
i DONT know all the things that go on behind the scenes. but i know the only hopeless people are the ones that LET themselves be hopeless.
you're better than this. i dont KNOW, but i have a feeling. EVERYTHING can be fixed.
djtj
Wasit - Yea I would..? Thats why Im here.. cuz I have nothing better to do with my life.
FatesIrony - Thanks, cuz it wont help. Im glad you relate, it makes me feel better.
djtj - Its funny.. a lot of people ask me why Im here if I think Im worthless.. well Ill say what Ive said before. Theres people on here that need my support and just becuase my life is shitty doesnt mean I should give up on others.
I guess theres hope.. I just dont see it.. at all.. not at the moment. Wallowing in self-pity is all I can really do.
I DO try and change it, everyday. Thats the whole reason I feel this way in the first place..becuase Im trying and trying and I honestly have no energy left. Theres no 'trying harder' or anything.. I just cant anymore.
Im just gunna ignore the fact that you suck it up because honestly? People who say suck it up are idiots... if it was that fucking easy, I WOULD suck it up.
Maybe Im letting myself be hopeless becuase I AM? I mean I really dont see another option if I cant and wont do it you know?
vonni