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vonni 
2:35pm, October 30, 2009
Its FINALLY the weekend. FINALLY I get to talk to her without a fucking time limit and the 15 minutes I logged off to change computers she comes on and assumes Im offline for the night. Probably becuase I wrote that I was going to bed but I only ment a nap. I wrote that at like 7pm! Why the FUCK would I go to bed at 7pm when we both knew we were finally getting a chance to talk tonight! God I am so mad. Im like.. bawling my eyes out. This is like the worst scenario ever. I want to go to bed and strangle myself with a pillow. I didnt want to spend my night going to bed early or staying up late with fucking no one online. God damnit. I just SO frusterated right now. Why the fuck did this happen? Whatever, nothing matters anyways. Everything I care about is a fucking fail. The reason I took that nap this afternoon was so I could stay up tonight without getting tired and talk to her so now Im gunna be fucking wide awake all night with fuck all to do. Thank you fate, thank you.
I wish I knew an animal expert. Boo behaves so badly sometimes and I dont know how to deal with it. He's like my child, seriously. Im the one that teaches him all the lessons and ect. I feel like a parent to him, which I want to be, but I just dont know how to deal with him sometimes. Today he bit my face! I was snuggling him.. maybe he didnt like it. I dont know.. thats the point though, I DONT KNOW. Ugh I need help.
Comments
I had a dentist appoitment today and I skipped it. I dont even know why! Sure I dont like the dentist, who does? But I ALWAYS have perfect teeth and its just one quick checkup. Now I have to reschedule and I dont feel like dealing with having it looming over me that I have to go to the dentist. I wish I could at least explain why I didnt go. I have no idea! I want to say this is anxiety but I dont think it is. Not an attack anyways.. but if its not an attack then how come I ended up not going? Maybe its becuase I knew I HAD to and when I hear the words 'You have to' I will do whatever it takes not to do whatever Im being told to do. My grandma is being so supportive. I think she sences Im having anxiety becuase I used to panic about going all the time but that was when I was way younger. Ugh I hate this. Something is wrong with me.
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Maybe it was for the best. Maybe you weren't supposed to go to the dentist this day. Sometimes i do silly things or fail to do something important and it later turns out that it was in fact a lucky choice that way
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Yea I believe in fate too :)
I guess Id just forgotten my values for a bit there, thanks =]
Past Entries
| June 2009 |
Tuesday, 6/16
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March 2009 |
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Wednesday, 3/25
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Hey sweetie =]
Is Boo your dog? Or your cat? I've found that when dealing with animals, you HAVE to be assertive, and it is all about your energy. Animals pick up on your moods, and unless you assert yourself as the "pack leader" they will most likely take advantage of you/walk all over you.
Next time he bites you [or, better yet, if you catch him right before he goes in for the kill], give yourself 3 seconds to discipline him and then go RIGHT back to normal, like it never happened. All the while, try [I say try because it is hard to do and takes TIME to learn how to keep your emotions under control] to keep your energy very calm, cool, and collected. If you wait any longer then that [3 seconds], he won't understand why you are yelling at him. You might also have to give him a "come to jesus" meeting if he gets really bratty.
shadowryder