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ScorpioBliss 
10:29am, March 24, 2009
I wanted to make sure I journaled how I'm doing to look at later.
My life has taken a SPECTACULAR turn for the best. I'm all moved in my new house now, I've got my new puppy, and I'm away from the controlling, manipulative man I was with for 6 years. My life has such meaning. It always did, but I lost it along the way. I do not speak to him at all, and requested for him to never contact me again. So far, so good.
I don't have a lot of money now that I'm out on my own, but I'm ok. It's just so nice enjoying going home. To enjoy being in a place that I'm content and happy. I have a 30 minute drive to work now, instead of 5 minutes. But I'm ok with that, too. The most important thing is I'M HAPPY. Money & material doesn't make your happiness. I've made my own happiness, I've made my choices.
To any of you that make excuses "I can't leave, I can't amke it on my own" BS !!!! I literally have cut my food bill over 1/2 of what it was. I don't get things I don't need. I bring my lunch to work, I don't go out. There's all kinds of ways you can make it work. Quit excusing your misery... you've allowed it and you continue to, just as I did. I WON'T allow it anymore.
Anyway, I'm doing well. I'm not going to be on this site much only because I have decided I'm not going to deal with excuses anymore of self pity. Too many on here expect pity, and can't grasp they need to take control of their situation and GO WITH IT. I hope I have instilled many helpful suggestions as to get better. They DO work, but ONLY if you apply them DAILY. Several times a day. Have patience, be good to yourself. Don't abuse things ... that's showing you have no respect for yourself. When I came on here, I wanted help. I didn't want pity, I WANTED ways to get better. I applied them. I used them EVERYDAY and still do. I won't allow negativity into my life anymore. I've always wanted to help and I hope I have. But so many are still in that pity party and I sometimes wonder if they are addicted to unhappiness. I can't be in that place... and I won't. Don't expect to get better if you can't appreciate yourself enough to work on YOU. Nobody else can do it for you. Only YOU are able to make things happen.
To all of my friends, I will check in from time to time. I wish everyone well, happiness, and peace. May you all find the happiness I've found, it really is worth it. Be diligent, be positive and most of all LOVE yourself enough to take charge.
UPDATED GOALS
Be a happy person
Progress 100%
Encouragements: 8
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Comments
Congratulations... Stay happy and well!
ClaudiaD
I am sp happy to hear you are doing well
Kellie58
I'm glad to hear you are doing well. I understand much of what you say. I felt sort of bad (and I told my counselor this) that when I've been better and panic free and anxiety free in the past that I had little tolerance for people who are struggling. Probably for the same reason. But, when the panic/anxiety/agoraphobia hits I suddenly plead with God like an alcoholic who says they promise not to drink when their head is spinning.
I think it is part of this condition. Sometimes like you say you did for a long time we go in circles and have a hard time breaking out of the cycle.
I do hope that when I am better that I can help others who struggle with this. However, I am not a counselor who is trained so I will make sure to direct people to the pros who know how to gently guide.
Good Luck and feel free to pop in and see us. Who knows, we may all be gone and new group of people who are in their Kindergarten of this disorder will be on here.
Love you for all the help you have given me, Betsy
Want2Bbetter
Hi LeAnne
Glad you have journalled this when you are going through it, it comes straight from the heart then, and wonderful to read back later.
I can hear you are happier, more content and probably are having many different thoughts going through your mind, BUT, you have definately made one of the most POSITIVE steps of you and your childrens life, I just love SUCCESS stories:):):)
I miss your support and POSITIVENESS you blossom onto others, but am so glad you are finding your way ~ boy ~ you must feeling a million dollars girl :):)
The group is still thriving, and YES!!! I know what you mean about people and their addictiveness to misery ~ geez ~ it was driving me mad on DS ~ I was becoming an Agony Aunt.
Best of luck in the future, I will be in touch, but I know you will be very busy getting things in order. I hope you and your children thrive from your life changes, I know you will LeAnne, I just know it.
Love Beth xxxxxxxxxxxxx
AngelEyezz