ScorpioBliss's Journal

It's Friday, thank goodness. I haven't felt the best this week. Anxiety wise I'm fine, just think I'm coming down with something. Then again, who isn't ? LOL

Well, I had the big surprise 50th for Kevin last Saturday. All went VERY well and he was extremely surprised. There ended up being almost 50 people there, and even some people didn't show up. My house was a disaster, and while it was fun, I'm glad he only turns 50 once.

The last few days I've been feeling drained. I'm tired of having company and I'm tired of our house always being the palce where everyone comes to. Our out of town visitor left Monday morning, now he's back again (and I do like the man). He stayed last night and will be staying again tonight. They are going to be partying ONCE again (just like last night) tonight, so I've decided to remove myself from the situation and I'm going to the library or SOMETHING. I would have did that last night, but my head hurts o bad all I wanted was my bed.

I enjoy having people over, but I'm tired of feeling like our house is the party house. It just gets SO old. If I bring it up to Kevin, he just gets mad. He's 50 and acts and parties like he's still 18. Like tonight, why can't the guys go to someone else's house and do their thing ? Maybe I'm just being bitchy, I dunno, or maybe it's because I don't feel so hot. All I know is I'm tired of constantly having people at our house partying. And in the summer, it just gets worse. Honestly, there isn't anything I can do about it other than remove myself from it. In all actuality, it IS Kevin's house. My name is not on it. Some days, I just wish I had some money saved so I could go off and live my life alone. I'm not depressed or anything, I just get tired of the partying (there is no end in sight) and people ALWAYS coming over. Then, guess who gets to clean up the friggin mess from it all ?

I just want a normal household. I'm tired of since we live in his hometown, all of his friends being around all the time. When we lived in my hometown, I didn't have people over all the time ? Hardly ever.

He's a completely different person around his friends and it annoys the living shit out of me. He acts like a complete idiot. Today, he's already drinking (yes it's only 11:45 am) since his friend is here from out of town. He takes off work whenever his friend comes back. But if I ask him to take a day off, OR like when my youngest had to get major surgery, he just couldn't do that. "I can't just take a day off work". But, he's did it 3x this week for his friend. When my uncle died a few months back, he couldn't take off work for that either. But as soon as his friend gets here, it's TIME TO PARTY and get all effed up for days on end. YUCK, I just want to move out and be on my own. Without all this partying and entertaining all the time.

ANYWAY, I'm done ranting.