Journal

Well, I made it a week - I'm proud of myself!  I'm pretty jittery and irritable, but I think that's more from the increase in medication.  My big challenge will be when I go away for a week at the end of January; there is a casino a few miles from where I"ll be staying.  I need to stay STRONG.....

Cheers,

Chickie

Oh my God, I just checked my win/LOSS statement from 2008, and it was double what it had been in 2007!  If anyone ever tells you this isn't a progressive disease, tell them they are wrong...

I feel like such an idiot - I still can't believe I started that crap again.  I hope I remember how bad I feel forever, so I never go back to that hell again.

This feels so bad I can't stand it.

Chickie

Well, I finally hit bottom - AGAIN.  I had been doing so well, and got that urge to 'just go one time'.  That's all it took - I was back on the hook. 

I went to my first GA meeting tonight, and I'm glad I did - it really helped me feel better.  I was back to my old shenanigans; lying to myself and others, losing money I didn't have, and missing out on my life.  

I have resolved to keep up with my DS logs, and to attend as many GA meetings as possible.  I will also get a second job, to help pay down the credit card debt I have so foolishly rung up.  

Today is my first GF day, and I don't want to EVER have to say that again in my life.

Wendy