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brokenbutterfly75 
today is one of my not so great days.
i got a full nites sleep but im just exahusted, i cant stop stressing over the fibrous dysplasia and the chiair malformation... i know these will get worse over time, how worse i wonder.
i cant be sick, im the back bone to my whole family and back bones have to stay healthy and strong they have to keep the family going, they cant get weak or fall apart.
i wish i had more answers than questions.. why 2 rare conditions, didnt god think 1 was enough, what does god want me to do with this.. he has to have some reason for me to have these.
and what about my boys and my husband... if i cant function they cant see me like that esp if the chiair was to paralize me... and i dont want to live that way.
surgery is an option but which one do i choose? do i choose to try both, and what about the work i miss and the bills we need to pay my husband just got back to work after being laid off for 9 months.
why am i so tired all the time , and mt temper is horrible anymore and it seems i cant control it at times even tho i try, and i have lost my appetite and dont want to eat... why am i like this, im an emotional train wreck and i dont see any positive changes heading my way just yet.
im getting thru each day by getting up going to work , and being around my kids, my husband , my family and the support i get on daily strength. and my poor husband, as the fibrous gets worse how can he stay married to me when i look disfigured, even though he will cause his love is true and not based on looks but, he married an attractive woman full of life and a future and he ends up with a fragile sick disfigured shell of a woman. and is that all im becoming? a shell of a woman.. what has happened to the vibrant nothing can stop me, fiesty, hard headed, stuborn, firecrack that i used to be a few years ago. were is the real me? and how do i get back to being me agian?
i pray to god for answers and to anyone that can share their storys with me. i need to know that i am not alone.
