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Aseret 
It is nearly six months on now since Vincent took his life. Six months since I last saw that face I came to love so well. Seems like six years. It is a hard thing to make your way past the anger when all you can see what has been taken from you. And so I continue to work on the forgiveness part, trying to keep in mind that he was suffering far more than I am now. How terribly ironic his favorite holiday movies were "It's a Wonderful Life" and "A Christmas Carol". Two stories where men find true meaning and purpose in their lives at a time of crisis. I wonder what he would have said about that? I doubt I will ever be able to watch either of them again.
He was simply the best person I ever knew. It seems odd to say this about someone who killed himself, but Vincent was so much fun. He had such wit, such a sense of humor, and was so intelligent on so many subjects. I think I miss talking to him most of all. He had a story for everything situation. He made me feel special. How I wish I could have known him before his troubles set in, back in the days when his life seemed to be on track. Despite everything, I'm so lucky to have met him. I just regret I was not able to do more. The why's will never leave me. The actions taken or not taken, things said or unsaid will haunt me always.
In another 48 hours or so, Thanksgiving will be done, and I won't have to deal with it for another year. Small blessings. In no way do I feel obligated this year to sit around a turkey and pretend to be thankful. And to think what it was like last year, ah well a road best not gone down.
Comments
So sorry, I know what you mean about missing his face, I would give anything to have one more minute with Dave. You are a very nice and wonderful person, and Vincent was your everything, I understand that, but he is still your everything, and I'm sure he still is standing by you some how. I did go to that Pyschic fair, and found a few people who had talked to a few, and they felt as if their soulmate was relating to them, so I must believe for myself and you we all will see our love ones again. But, I too, can't wait for Thanksgiving to be over. Thank you for sharing, Daisyday
Dasiyday
Oh Teresa, I feel your pain and I am so sorry. Vincent was a great guy, no matter how he passed away. I know that it wasn't in a way that you agree with but you made him happy and that is one thing that you have to remember. The wrong meds will have you thinking negatives thoughts and believe me, I have been there. I hope the day went okay for you. I am praying for you every step of the way.
Your friend, Milla
solostmilla