beforeicouldhtink's Journal

what am i sopost to  think?  what am i sopost to  do ?
im wondering in this life with out a  clue 

i kno what i have and i wonder wat  i want
nothings  ever good enough  nothings ever right
the only time im perfect is in the  dead of night

the stars in my eyes thats when they disappear
and i can lay to rest as my  feelings  become clear.

why am i hiding? why am i scared ?
why am i afraid, so hesitant to be me
 tightly  wrappd up in a smile thats never set  free

maybe its the  tears  im afraid to weep
maybe i am scared ive dug a  hole  to  deep

let  me  stand in the  rain
let me yell and  scream  cry and run away 
let me  die in night so i never see the  day

let me  sleep forever so my dream will come  true
becasue no matter my ambition its somthing i cant  do

dont  push  away my  words and shove this  all aside
becasue what  i am  feeling i  have to  say aloud
i feel like im invisible in the middle of a  crowd

my words are never heard even as i yell them in the air
im ignored like the ticking of a  clock because no one really cares

 let me run, let me  sing , let me  write the  words you'l never read
i cant  achieve my dream to change  the world to save some one here
im jsut  not  that  special, i kno  who i am  i look in the  mirror

no one  really knows me im behind a wall
and no one can  catch  me when i kno  i will fall

i fall i hurt i  pick myself up
i  get  back on  my feet  not  sheading a tear
painting a smile hiding my  fear

im falling again  soon ill hit the  ground
i've  fell so many times  i should  be crowned

nothing  to  see  here  you  must  move  on
jsut  a  girl  with  no power no voice no  face
she is  invisible no  person no place

a  rag  doll thats  pushed and pulled  ripped up and worn
 a girl thats  used  stepped on  beat up and torn


these are  my  feelings  its how i feel
i kno its ridiculious i have a  voice  i have a  face
i am a person i have a  place

i just  feel un important so usless and down

kicked at and stepped on beat up and drownd