Journal

I would love to thank all those who answered my blogg when I was feeling suicidal I KNOW your thoughts prayers and answers really did help me     I STOPPED ONE OF MY ANTIDEPRESSANTS FOUR DAYS AGO AND THE DIFFERENCE IS UNBELEIVABLE.   I feel reileve and a little more possitive a day at a time.  My head feels clearer and my thoughts for the moment are normal  THANKS  to everyone for caring and sharing i think without this site i might not be hear to-day it is definetly my life line.   thanks  again for your hugs prayers and kind thoughts   LOVE YOU ALL

yesterday i had quite a scare i have had a few fits over the years they call them anxiety attacks where my body shakes uncontrolably from head to toes these can las a few hours they are usually few and far between and i have learned to go into a queitroom and do breathing exersices till it passes but yesterday was different all day my head and arms twitched and no matter what i tried i could nt stop this can anyone else tell me if they have gone through this, has it anything to do with cfs and if so will it get worse. 

to-day i woke up with the usual sore throut ears and head i lay a while thinking why bother even getting up i felt so miserable but i pushed myself and instead of feeling my usual doom and gloom i felt excited that i had someone to share my feelings with thank god for this site. i am not very good with computes or talking to people about how i feel but to-day i feel good that i am able to share with lots of people who are the same as me and know exactly how i feel.    THANKS A MILLION for all the peole who really care it has made me feel worth while again my thoughts and prayers are with everyone out  there with this horrible illness but we can give each other hope and a reason to go on.      I was a fighter all my life no matter what happened no matter how hard i dealt with it then all of a sudden i felt completly powerless over the silly little situation i could nt cope i felt a failure useless to myself and my family i felt like a helpless little baby and cried like one too i have been ill over 4years now and it has taken me this long to accept my illness ihope now i can embrace it and have some amount of inner happiness rather than fight it and be depressed angry and sad as i know now how can you win a fight with the invisable ghost that has attacked and now lives in our body from to-day i will try and make freinds with my ghost M.E.