Journal Entry for August 18, 2008
August 18, 2008 2:16pm
End of this road.
bumblepip
5:03am, August 20, 2008
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About Me
bumblepip
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About Me
I have BPD. One day I will be free
I have BPD. One day I will be free
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Interests
Love Kickboxing, for such a little person people probably find that weird but it's great exercise and calms me down. I love playing guitar and singing used to draw and paint alot.
Love Kickboxing, for such a little person people probably find that weird but it's great exercise and
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Stupid Fucking idiot
August 13, 2008 9:42am
go to the bloody therapy you stupid girl or you'll never kick it. Just get out of the house.
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Mermaids can drown
August 11, 2008 2:40pm
Mermaids can drown when there's noone around. Like faeries I guess if you don't believe in them. I keep going in the water the crystal water …
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I'm a mermaid!
August 11, 2008 4:12am
Got back from Cornwall and didn't sleep last night heard the birds talking about me this morning and it all makes sense. i'm meant to …
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I'll be away for a little while
July 30, 2008 2:28pm
I realsie that I'm not well at moment and I'll be taking a break for a bit. Been given clonazepan to calm down. we'll see if it works. …
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Hugbook
Hug
:)
Hug
so have you found the crack to the parallel universe so we can escape? :)
Hug
You are very welcome. I am glad that you went to see your counsellor and I hope you are doing better.
Hug
Tomorrow is a new day and a new start, hope you have a lovely tomorrow. xx
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Good Luck
You can do it. My thoughts are with you, don't take that drink go to your appointment. xx
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Photos
bumblepip hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Support Groups
Close Personality Disorders
: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)Been labeled as over-imaginative since my early years. Seen and heard voices since being a teenager. History of depression and psychosis. Trouble with alcohol,selfharming and bulimia. Despite all this am trying to make life work as a wife and mother. I seem to have a self destruct button as much as I try and pull myself together and act normal i seem to fail.I have trouble forming relationships with people and try to stay away from friends-ships and contacts as much as possible. Feel silly writing this, as it sounds like a "poor me" story. Ultimately I believe I am resonsible for my own undoing I am weak and lazy, because the minute something gets difficult I just put the booze blanket around me. I cannot be trusted to keep promises,I am Manipulative, child like when all i want to be is fair and reasonable. Tomorrow I will probably have a completely different outlook on life I may be that confindent cope with all strife kind of person I want to be. Not sure any of this makes sense but there you go. x
Close Alcoholism
I',m a drinker at the age of 3 i remember my first sweet sherry in a thimblesized fairy glass. The sweetneess lulled me to sleep and the stubble of my grandfather was bearable. All I knew was i wanted more. To feel a warm glow, a fantastic love substitute. I am a happy drunk mostly. I want and need, have been trying so hard to stop but I am my own worst enemy. Sometimes I question do I want to quit? I seem to have no control.
Treatments
- AA Meetings Working / Worked
- Been a few times felt really humbled and grateful for all the sharings. Don't feel able to go back because I haven't quit drinking and don't want to be a waste of space. I feel I dfont deserve their support.
- Campral Working / Worked
- trued this and it did reduce my cravings would like to be back on this but cant bring myself to face my doctor who has so little time anyway.
Open Self-Injury
Cutting started a long time ago. I feel no pain. Or sometimes I feel it screaming in my head and then it's like chlorofom I don't only cut but have used rolling pins and hammers. I broke my arm in september but am so unsure of how this happened since I cant remember much except the police. Hey you wouldn't know to look at me I'm pretty cheerful:)
Treatments
- Talking Working / Worked
Open Depression
Oh where to begin. think i've beeen on nearly every anti-depressant I have good times this is not one of them
Treatments
- Celexa Not Working
- no joy
- Effexor Working / Worked
- on it pretty numb
- Lexapro Somewhat Helpful
- good for about 6 months
- Paxil Not Working
- evil, especially coming off it convulsions etc
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- hard work but best
Open Eating Disorders
I guess I have Bulimia. I eat stuff and throw it right back up again. I don't always do this. It happens when I am feeling out of sorts, Recently it's been getting worse. I don't like the feeling of anything inside me As it is not so important my cpn feels in relation to other behaviours I've not really tackled this side of me.
