Rach's Journal

Wow, it's been a while!

Sunday marked the nine month anniversary of Racehl's death. It was a hard day, but I can't say that it was an unusual pain, because every day lately has been hard.

We had been told to expect this - for it to get even harder 6 to 8 months onwards. But we didn't expect the aching void that is present in our lives everyday to just grow and grow.

Still, every day has its blessings and we try to take the most from every second. We know only too well how short life is, and if there is one thing Rachel taught us, it was the preciousness of life. We miss her so much, but as Tanika frequently reminds me, Rachel would be so disappointed if we didn't continue to live. That's not to say it isn't hard. Some mornings I just don't want to open my eyes and face yet another day without her. It hurts. It actually physically aches. But I get up, and I go through my day for her.

We speak about her all the time, and the house is full of photos and memories - we wouldn't dream of hiding her memory away. Her friends still call up to check how we are, and to share memories they have. Sometimes they email or write as well. It is a breath of fresh air. They are so sweet.

This time last year we were in one of the most frightening times of our lives, with Rachel having unexplained seizures and spending time in the ICU in a comatose state. I had my faith in her, but I can't deny that there were times when I feared she wouldn't make it through another day. We were blessed that she graced our lives for another 3 months after this harrowing time.

In family news, Tanika is doing well - studying hard for her mock-final exams, and her final exams coming up over the next few months. We know she will do us proud. We are proud of her no matter what.

John is working hard as always. We are toying with the idea of planning a memorial event to raise momey for Osteosarcoma research. Compared to cancers such as Leukaemia and Breast Cancer, there isn't a great deal of awareness or funding for research into cancers such as Osteosarcoma, Ewings, Neuroblastoma, Rhabdomyosarcoma and so many other rare beasts that I saw take the lives of our children. I'll keep you updated.

That's about all from Casa de Scully. Sending love and prayers to those who need them,

Linda