I'm just trying to stay alive and enjoy doing it. Trying to find and maintain those necessary balances.
I'm just trying to stay alive and enjoy doing it. Trying to find and maintain those necessary balances.
I love music and art. I have a strong passion for theatre. Nature and the wilderness are essential for my existence. I like to enjoy it all by backpacking and canoing. My main problem is that I constantly desire to escape, whether it's through reading, watching a movie or anime series, painting or writing. smoking or drinking. I always seem to be running away.
I love music and art. I have a strong passion for theatre. Nature and the wilderness are essential for
January 17, 2009 5:02am
so, here i sit... smoking a cigarette... alone
in this apartment that smells of burnt styrofoam
i these last few weeks spent nearly …
December 10, 2008 5:20pm
well, i'm not doing so well... actually pretty shitty. the semester is wrapping up, and, well... i ain't gonna have the bestest grades. I …
November 28, 2008 10:43pm
Keane Better Than This Lyrics Songwriters: N/A Send "Better Than This" Ringtone to your CellIs this what …
November 28, 2008 4:40pm
argh... can't stop listening to them... > <
…
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I have a long family history of depression. But thanks to my 3rd grade teacher's suggestion to my parents, I started therapy when I was 8. This of course led to meds and psychiatry in addition. It has always been hard, and I have been hospitalized a couple times due to suicidal thoughts and self-injurious behavior, but I am still here and working everyday to stay here for the people I love and who love me.
My grandfather recently died from HD, and my mother refuses to get tested. I want to, though, but I am afraid if I am postive...how would I tell my mother? And I wish she would get tested instead of just worrying about it. We can barely even talk about it, because "insurance doesn't know, and if they found out, it would cost more" as my mother whispers. I try not to think about it, but sometimes, I get really scared. I mean, if I have it, I don't want to have any biological children.
In Northern Minnesota during the winter, there ain't much sun. :P And at times it can seem a little dreary with the weather. I get more tired and have a lot less energy then in the other seasons, almost like hibernating :P
Classified as "borderline", but my Adderall really helps and I can sense the difference on days when I don't take it. Even with menial tasks like driving or holding a conversation...
i just am a worrier. But as I've grown older, i have developed somewhat of a Social Anxiety. It can be pretty frustrating, but i am actually okay with it most times. I just pretty much avoid talking with anyone i don't need to talk to. Like old friends or acquaintances or sales people.,,, pretty much any one. :P
My first cut was when i was 12, but it didn't happen at all again until i was 15 after I befriended a very troubled girl who had scars all over her body. I still struggle with it everyday and seem to relapse every 6 months or so... I hope that one day I will never have the urge.
I am bi and struggle with being very hypersexual. Very recently I have been mellowing out somewhat, but I still find it difficult at times to be true. I have hurt those most dear to me, and now have trust issues. Sometimes I fear something is seriously wrong with me.
I have "Mommy issues". I could rant all day long, but I'll just leave it be. Basically, my mother is batshit crazy, literally. She is BPer but it defies most categorization. This has lead her to be verbally, emotionally, and when I was a tot and a kid, even physically abusive. I love her, even if she cannot love me unconditionally as a mother ought to. But it's been hard growing up with all the shit she's laid upon me. Most of my problems stem here.
Have always been a "night owl". I don't mind it most times, but it's just inconvenient for any sort of life style. I am pretty light-sensitive and a dark room isn't always easy to come by. I like to sleep, i just don't/can't. EVERYONE tells me to "get on a better schedule" and I try, but i either over sleep or under sleep, it's like i friggin' can't establish one.
Stemming from my frustrations with my mother, I was a very angry child. Fortunately, I was blessed with a wonderful Psychologist as a child and have learned to move beyond the anger. I am actually generally a pretty laid back person, but I can episodes in certain situations.
Me mum hasn't been the greatest. I'll never understand it all completely, but I think that I am very blessed to still be alive and sane (well somewhat :P)
My dad is a recovering alcoholic. And I am so proud of him. :)
My mother is Bipolar.
