Ihaveredhair's Journal

 "NO"

the news seized the night
weeks, months and millions gather in stride
the appearance of homes, forced silent in bloom
doors emptied in the summer sun
promises last a half hour, while time was left behind us
winds invade the trees and steal the whispers
we run to find order
preserve the fear and let desire consume the oppressive belly of your dreams
jungled into a meal of denial
the voice is a surprise to a belief that love is hunger and hunger is alive.
automatic memories too abstract for tomorrow
so fill your pack with shadows and disperse them to the undefeated optimist
conquer their atmosphere.

"outside the window"

do you ever think of death?
do you ever think death would suit you better?
or that your suit looks like death?
torn and shredded, mangled and mingled with life to the extent of confusion and window shopping
constantly leaving bags outsides
never making a reasonable purchase
never healing or handing or giving
is your suit brown black blue or gray?
do all the buttons work?
the lining fell soft against your skin?
do you feel naked under the cloth?
the stitching holding it all together
strings ripping and tightening around every curve?
pockets cant afford to fix the last decade of weddings and funerals
and fancy dinners that you never attended, do you bail out even on yourself?
the flowers in the yard have grown taller then the flowers in all the other yards, and I don't even know what they are called.
mistaking a dog for a cat, and admiring a tree for the possibilities of a tree house. the structure is perfect.
everything is over grown in me, on me and around me, the shrubbery is ridiculous. and there is no such thing as silence.

(that was about alot. but mainly it was about me, jsut looking out my window)

"you, me, and then you again"

sit and wait
wait and sit
contemplate
my history
your future
my death
your first born
cars
transportation
speech impaired when phone rings
ice-cream melts on your warm hands
cold hearts
fake scenes
fake life
leave
hide
re carpet the hallway
open the present
re wrap the gifts
dig your way through the fence
under the wall lies holes
love seeps through to touch the hands
hands deny the light
light fades in your chest
drink decay
rot away
under the blankets behind the shelf
in your room is where I stay.
wait and sit
sit and wait
contemplate
love scenes
movie scenes
rewind
eject all your dreams
....
(that was for, and about the boy who named began with the letter K. it was written after i realized that i was parshily a fool, and he was nothing more than everything i didnt want or need-if that makes any sense at all)

"persue confrontaion"

light giant step, introduced twitching muscles
inverted expression, self conscious body..
forgetting free action..
don't watch my surprised straight body..the routine satisfaction, complimenting, my ashamed introduction and the final offer of patience.
you utter strong language in a somersaults of suggestive emphasis of the emotions.. grinning against curves... ...your doing a very sloppy job of taking the tape off.

"the shadow of teh earth is lined with so many bodies"

silent turns and closed happiness,
alone on the edge of the cliff.
exhausted memories, with discipline sleeping, 
fear swims up the spine...
not expecting company, you eagerly open your eyes.
circumstances play with controlled punishment and unnecessary energy,
and you awake to reality's code of overcrowded behavior and leaped for the impact of gateless happiness.

 "change"

new vision found in the unlikely action of tumbling hearts,
driven from familiar streets,
arriving at appropriate apartment avenues.
busy unpacking morals,
you find the balance in the stale air.
while desire is left standing in the streets.
bleeding, pleading, tempting..
peering at the destructive night,
you drop to the floor and exercise.

and that about sums it up with the whoel poetry department of my head for the time being anyways, theres always plenty left out, left behind, and waiting to be made...