teenytania's Journal

I have gotten on the scale and lost another 10 lbs, so that totals about 35 so far.  I guess surgery and pain and meds help you lose a little bit from time to time, you dont feel like eating, and Im trying to walk a little bit each day.  Still in a lot of pain, doc downgraded my pain meds - I think that he doesnt want the responsibility of having someone on narcotics.  I tell them at every appt. exactly what I am feeling, no BS but they still take it down a notch each time and say it's in my best interest?  Im thinking next time I go back I am going to ask for a referral to a pain management clinic to see if they can help. 

I was denied for disability, not sure why because I listed all of my health problems and the chronic pain, but they said that I could still work.  They did admit that I had several limitations but were convinced that I could still do a desk job?  What is up with that?  I have problems sitting too long at my desk at home without pain so not sure how they would fathom that I could sit for 8 hours a day and handle it right now.  I am going to get a lawyer after listening to everyone's advice, basically everyone has said that you get denied for the first time.  I applied back in 06 before my surgery and was denied then, so I think that they are afraid that they would have to back pay until then, and with the economy the way it is I think that has something to do with it too.  Im not lying or trying to BS the government to get a check, I have a legitimate claim, so this is what I will have to do.  Appeal will happen.

Still in a lot of pain nowadays, but the fusion is taking, and my curve has not progressed anymore, which is very good news.  If I could get rid of the pain and muscle spasms I think that I would be happy, but dealing with this constant pain is really getting to me and making me depressed.  The put me on Zoloft, but I do not really see a change yet, maybe I havent given it enough time to work.

Everyone family wise has been supportive.  My hubby had to go back to work today so I am trying to take care of three kids three months post op and this will not be easy.  I am going to have to teach my 1 1/2 year old how to go down the stairs by himself, because I cannot hold 30 lbs. and walk downstairs at the same time.  My 9 year old helps me a lot when she is here, but she has to go to school.  I don't have any other family that can help me during the day so I will have to deal and cope with this the best I can until hubby gets home in evening.  What really sucks is he has to go on midnight shift in a couple of days so not only will I have to take care of kids all day, but at night too and not sure how I am going to handle this.  The best that I can I guess.

Thanks to everyone on DS that has helped.  Everyones advice has been great and given me ideas that I wouldn't have thought of on my own.  Sometimes I don't know what I would have done without DS because hubby gets tired of hearing me complain about my back, and I could understand why - he has been at home taking care of me since my surgery in Oct.  LOL Guess he was excited about getting out of here and going back to work.