pstrevels's Journal

Twilightmoon(Diana) wrote a journal just like this. I found it to be really inspirational so I thought i would give it a try.

Dear Pam,

Do you remember all those years in school when everyone teased you about being so ugly that no one would ever want you? Don't pay any attention to them. You actually will get married twice. First one won't be a good marriage or last very long, cause he is a cheater. But you will have 2 sons who mean the world to you. After the separation you will meet the man of your dreams. One thing though don't get drunk and tell him he is too old short or ugly. He is actually your soulmate. He will love  you with all his heart and soul. He will love your sons just like they are his. And he will work very hard to give you a nice home, filled with joy and love. He will raise those boys in church, and witness both of them being saved and baptized. He will teach them right from wrong, how to build things, work on cars, everything a father is supposed to do. Most of all don't worry about him ever leaving you for another woman. Because he will love you until he takes his last breath. Now when the cancer dx comes, try to be strong, but if you can't that's ok also. Cause he will be strong enough for the both of you.  He will tell you things you need to hear, but at the time you won't want to hear them. But later down the road remember those things cause they will bring some comfort. Make sure you listen to the tape of his preaching, cause you will hear him say how  he is laying up treasures in heaven not here in this world. And how he wants everyone to go to heaven with him. And through this sorrow please try and remember that he isn't suffering anymore, he is with his heavenly Father, the place he worked so hard to get too. And also remember that just because his physical body is gone that your love will last forever and always. And that one day after while we will be reuntied to spend an eternity together. The time apart will seem very short compared to the time we get to spend in heaven. But I think the most important part will be that after he is gone, that you focus on the very thing he wanted you to do. Continue living and have a happy life. As hard as that is going to be, you will have to stay on this earth and take care of your sons, and your parents. Cause they can't lose you too. Remember in the desolate places God makes pretty flowers grow. And there will be light at the end of this dark tunnel, it will just take some time to get there. And thank God everyday for letting you have this wonderful man for 17 years. Just keep your faith, cause that is what will get you through. God will never forsake you or leave you. He will be carrying you this horrendous loss, until you are back on your feet.

Baby,

Well, it will be 13 months this Saturday. Been having a rough spell, but I know it will pass. It would be really nice to have a dream of you. Been a while. Thanks so much for showing me what true love is all about. Without you my life would've been so empty and void. You helped make me the woman I am today. A woman who knows that even though she might not be very pretty on the outside, that I am beautiful on the inside. Most of the time anyways, lol. The love we shared was truly a fairytale come true, and I thank God for that.

 Love you forever and always,

Pam