Softballgirl

Open Physical & Emotional Abuse

wow where to start,I grew up being traumatized and abused(physically,mentally,emotionally and verbally)it was a daily thing I really was very suicidal and kept it to myself I thought if I had to live this way I'd rather not live at all,I was abandoned at 8 and sent away to a private boarding school by the biologicals who never bonded with me nor wanted or loved me kids sense and feel these things I certainly did it haunts me to this day and is present and affects me however I am a survivor.

Treatments

Abuse Counseling Working / Worked

I find it works if you put the work it takes into it a therapist is not a miracle worker but they are there to listen and offer support and give sound advice.

Open Anxiety

I have suffered with anxiety ever since I was a child and get attacks every now and again and when I do it feels like I can't breathe,I get very anxious in large crowds,if I am at the mall with a friend and they aren't within my eye sight I panic,I feel anxiety with any type of confrontation I hate them I am not a fighter and hate to feel like I am being in the position to have to defend myself yuck it's the worst feeling.

Treatments

Breathwork Working / Worked

my therapist has me practice taking deep breaths and focussing on that not allowing any other distraction she usually has me breath in and out 10 times

Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

I was diagnosed with PTSD it stems from childhood abuse and trauma I will always have this but I am learning to deal with and manage it even though some days it's extremely tough for me,I really need friends who also deal with this and maybe I can be helpful to some of you and you to me.I also have clicical depression and emotional problems from the abuse and trauma.I do the best I can that's all that can be expected of me.

Treatments

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Somewhat Helpful

it was a bit helpful but the person wasn't all that compassionate she was more on the iceberg side and I didn't at all feel a connection with her.

Open Self-Injury

I use to dig at my skin until it drew blood it didn't hurt at the time I almost felt relief but the next day it was very painful and I found myself asking why did I do that and the answer to that was I was hurting deep inside and I had no other coping skills,I figured people were hurting me I might just as well hurt myself,I for the longest time suppressed everything because when I tried expressing the abuse and trauma I got hurt worse by the biologicals(they were never parents to me.)

Open Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling)

I have pulled my hair out since I was a young child I was told it stemmed from abuse and trauma,I have pulled it in the same spots at times causing bald spots also when I was just a teenager I plucked my eyelashes out,I was tolfd they wouldn't grow back I said I didn't care I was in alot of mental and emotional pain and felt if other's were going to hurt me I might as well hurt myself and I did,some people put on false eyelashes and wigs I don't I am not embarrassed,I am me that's all.

Open Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)

for the past 4 years I have had this problem,it can come on at any time even right after you go to the bathroom I find myself running there and sometimes just barely make it other times not making it at all and have accidents,how embarrssing that is,there is no warning most of the time but sometimes I can feel it coming on,the worst is if I am out walking or in a restaurant and I can make it to the bathroom I just want to crawl in a hole.

Treatments

Avoid Certain Foods / Chemicals Not Working

I mean I try to stay away from certain foods but you can't really tell the foods that affect you in this way unless you eat everything seperately.

Open Family Issues

my parents never bonded with me they had a baby before me that died 36 to 38 hours after birth then had me 17 months later and named me kim just as they did the first baby,they sent me away at 8 years ols making up lies to get rid of me saying I was a problem child and unruly and making the household miserable please I was 8 when I returned to them from boarding school that is when all the abuse and trauma took place that I can remember though I am told it probably started earlier then that.

Open High Cholesterol

I have high cholesterol and I find it hard even with my lipitor to keep it down.Are there any foods I should stay away from any that are better for me then other's any help would be appreciated.

Treatments

Lipitor Working / Worked

I take lipitor daily and my doctor recently changed me from every 3 months checking blood level to once a year so I would like any advice on how to keep it good as she told me.

Open Shyness

I have always been very shy my whole life and with most people don't make eye contact I don't know if it's because I am uncomfortable with the people or if the non eye contact stems from fear of the abuse I endured as a child and young adult plus often to I think the trauma I suffered at the hands of my parents as well as ongoing in my living situation by the woman property manager who is a bully and harrasses me and threathens me with eviction with no grounds to do so,anyway I have lived in fear all my life and I think this to contributes to my shyness.

Treatments

Psychotherapy Working / Worked

I have a really good therapist and though most of the time I can make eye contact with her there are times when I don't,I continue to work on this everyday.

Open Stress Management

I have always had alot of stress in my life due to abuse and trauma in childhood and I have a very hard time coping with this and I have stressers in my life I hope here I can chat with other's dealing with the same issues.

Treatments

Psychotherapy Working / Worked

I see my therapist once a week and it is most helpful to me without her I don't think I'd be coping as well as I do she is a godsend.

Open Pet Bereavement

Hi everyone though I haven't lost my Cat jessie yet I still would like to join and be supportive to those who have lost there pet as I know one day I to will lose mine.