widow at age 32, divorcee from a mental idiot who thought he was god, struggling financially with 3 sons from the marrieage, ages 15, 13, 11 dealilng with the 15 yr he has the opostional defiant disorder and i dont know how to actually deal with it.after yr of divorcing my ex, i met my second husband after only 4 months of dating, we were married but the good lord took my husband adam on april 4, 06 he died in his sleep closed his eyes and never woke up he died in our bed and next to me, didnt know he was gone till 2hrs later, , miss having friends here on ds to talk to on anygiven moment, i feel alone at times, i love to read, take long walks listen to christian music, and watch ghost whispers, on fridays, id like to spend more time with my boys, but one thing there fighting throws me into a panick and anxiety attack, which is not controlled by the way diagnosed with ptsd from the sexual abuse, as a child and the physical and pyschological abuse from the hands of my parents and sexual abuse since age 5 to 13 from my god father, my cousin and my moms dad which i will not call him grandpa cuz while he did this to me, my grandmother was on her death bed and then getting involoved at 17 with a guy who was very mentally abusive, after that met my exhusband, we were married after a yr of dating but i saw, the signs of jealousy but i chose to feel it will go away if i marry him, it didnt it only made matter worse, now he owned me, i was physically beat, raped hit everday, down graded, and said i was a no one, i finally divorced him after a 10yrs of hell, i dont have very many friends im struggling emotionally how can i raise my 3 sons when i know some day, there might be like there dad, well my oldest is headed, that way already, man he gots odd and hes destructive, tagging on my walls and such now, and weres his pants below his ass, i call him a gangsta want to be, i wish he would know that i love him, and want him not to turn bad, im might have to do inpatient, therapy cuz he sure doesnt want to open up to anyone hear well this is who i am if you need to talk im a good listener
widow at age 32, divorcee from a mental idiot who thought he was god, struggling financially with 3 sons from the marrieage, ages 15, 13, 11 dealilng with the 15 yr he has the opostional defiant disorder and i dont know how to actually deal with it.after yr of divorcing my ex, i met my second husband after only 4 months of dating, we were married but the good lord took my husband adam on april 4, 06 he died in his sleep closed his eyes and never woke up he died in our bed and next to me, didnt know
reading, hiking, going to the lake to watch the boats come in and out of port, spending fun quality time with the boys, , , ,
reading, hiking, going to the lake to watch the boats come in and out of port, spending fun quality time
2 hugs given, 2 hugs received, 1 journal post
misnadam wrote a journal entry: Journal Entry for November 19, 2009 11:13am
havent had much to say latley, things have been going so so, boys are doing ok in school, there just…
misnadam updated their status 11:10am
vacation will officially start towmorrow for the boys all week no school…
misnadam gave lovewins a chicken soup 11:08am
hope your feeling better today, whats up with you these days me just with school letting out for vacation…
misnadam gave lopeznewmexico a moment of peace 11:06am
hey sis just wishing a good day, came to the library for a while, my comp is out for a while, hope your…
November 19, 2009 11:13am
havent had much to say latley, things have been going so so, boys are doing ok in school, there just starting holiday vacation, no school for a week, …
June 24, 2009 12:59pm
this crushing blow to me finacially, my house payment went up again, its nearly a grand man when i closed on my house 4 yrs ago, i was told that, …
June 18, 2009 6:26pm
today, is unhappy day for me, alot of memories, flash backs, at that also, of the times, of heart ache my life, today my niece would've been 17, …
June 11, 2009 4:16pm
i thought today, was going to be a nice, day, but i was wrong, my boyfriend terry, was being an ass, he even told my 3 sons that, he didnt want to be …
June 1, 2009 1:08pm
schools out for the summer it ended on the 21st so far there hasnt been any out bursts from the boys, my younger child went with mom and dad camping, …
hey sister! awwwww your computer is out. awwwww man, but glad you got out of the house and went to the library. the bible study went good thanks, how is everybody?
hey sister! i feel so bad we couldn't get together when you came down, its just i was so sick, been feeling not so good, and its affecting my moods. iam sorry your having a rough time too!
hey sister! awwwwwww sister your always there for me too, we sisters got to stick together. hope all is well!
i hope u feel better. i hope your family well. ok have a great day!!
good morning! how are you my sister
Progress
20 %
widow for 2.5yrs now he died peacefully ih his sleep on April 4,06
son is visually imparied due to an accident at, the age of 16months
sexually abused as a child beat for 10yrs straight in the hands of my ex, raped 2 times concieving both times
experiencing off and on since a child
raising 3 young been ages 14,13,11 biological father not in picture do to abuse, step father passed aways april 4,06
raising 3 sons 14,13,11
what can i say got beat up down graded raped, emotional verbal abuse for 10 long wasted yrs
sexual abused by god father grandfather and cousin
lost my grandparents, when i was young a special uncle, and the love of my life my husband adam
caught ex messin with a so called friend
early anxiety disorder since the sexual abuseas a child and physical abuse in the hands of my mother and the physical abuse in the hands of my ex husband
i felt not apart of my family, by my self
left abdominal lower quadrent of unsort no namealways in pain but doctors say all in my head
terry is my kids foster father,
