phullphilled's Journal

I think I have mentioned before, when I write a journal entry on www.dailystrength.org, there is a place that ask me to select a theme for this entry. How am I suppose to know what the theme is until I write the article???. So I am just not going to select a theme because I have no idea, unless of course if I do in the future then I did select a theme!!!!

I am going to go to breakfast then come back and write more. Seems like the farm hands here on the farm get all the animals together and feed us all at the same time every day. Then I am going to come back and write about what I need to do to go thru my morning as I get ready for a new day. I hope this gives anyone interested in what it is like to have transmitter (my new name for Alzheimer's, because that seems to be more of the problem than not being able to know what I want to say but being able to get it out of my mouth) problems. I can think what I want to say but I can not put them into words, but for some reason I can put them on paper (computer). So I will be back in a little bit (I do not know anymore what a little bit is) but I will be back when I am, oooopsss there goes my alarm that I set to let me know all the animals are gathering in the barn yard to get our mixed grain and hay.

Back from breakfast. The toast is usually a little on the cold side. It comes to my table without butter, which is fine, and one little container of jelly. Not sure why the farm hands do not put two things of jelly if we have twon pieces of toast. This happens all the time. So this morning I went back to the kitchen which we are not suppose to do and asked for another jelly. I was told I was not suppose to  be there and I nicely said I knew that and also it would be nice if they would automaticly put two jellies if a person ordered two pieces of toast. I got my jelly and I have found that the only way to get a changes done is go to the kitchen and usually the problem gets solved because they do not want everyone going to the kitchen at all. We will see what happens.

When Flops and I get up in the morning, we are thinking almost immediately about our day. When I do not have anything going of for the day I usually have a good and smooth morning in getting ready to go for breakfast and on with my slow day. When I have things to do I seem to get thrown way off my routine. I think I have said before, I have to, at this point in time, only do one thing at a time then move on to the next thing. I have been doing this for the last two months so I have formed a very smooth and easy steps going from one thing to the next. I get up, go to the bath room, come back take my meds, take my exelon patch to the bath room, come back get my clothes that I am going to wear for the day, back to the bath room, shave, shower, brust my tooth, put on deodorant, make sure I am dry, comb my hair (just kidding), I have no hair to comb and then come back to my chair and read the paper until the alarm goes off for me to go to breakfast. It really is very easy when I (Phil) is in charge. But, and it is a big BUTT, when Flops takes over I do not function to well. Today I am going to go and mow yard and then in the afternoon I am going to go to my GI doctor to have a follow up appointment since my hospital stay. So needless today it has been a trying morning.

On the morning when I have things to do during the day, it seems Flops is thinking about things I need to do later in the day and not thinking of my morning chores I need to do, like what used to be automatic and not give a thought to what I was doing. Most people just get up and get ready for there days without having to give a thougt at all to the process of doing everyday things. Well this morning, Flops immediately started to think about going to get Pat's yard mowed and then he started to wonder if he has all the information for the doctor appointment, in the mean time I (Phil) am trying to get things done to just be ready to go to breakfast. THIS DOES NOT WORK. I found myself walking from my room to the bath room and then not knowing why I was in the bath room at all, so I stood there and then the normal urge struck me that I had to go to the bath room. I then went back to my room and not for sure why I was back there, then I wondered if I took my meds or not and also what day it is and I was just confused. So I sat down for a couple of minutes to get myself back on track. I looked at my calendar and I see it was still Sunday but I thought it can not be because today is the day I mow yard. So that got me back on track a little. So I just started my "normal" new routine back over again. Crossed off the 5th on my calendar, opened my meds drawer and saw that my meds for today were still in the "Monday" compartment. So far so good. Flops still has stepped back and let me do my thing. That was the wrong thing to think about. So I took my meds and was a little baffled on what I was suppose to do next. I did what any normal human being would do, I smelled my arm pits and instantly I knew I did not take a shower yet. So I knew I did not do all my bath room duties yet. So I went in and started to shave and then Flops took over again. Got to thinking about what we would find out at the doctor's office today, which I am a little concerned about. So it was a constant battle between Phil and Flops on which one was going to do the thinking the rest of the morning. Did I or did I not take a shower??? I touched my towel I use after the shower and it was still dry so I knew I needed a shower yet. I happen to look back in the mirror and I still had some lather on my face so I must not have finished shaving, so I did that and then took a shower. As I was in the shower Flops got to thinking about the doctor appt. Before I knew it the water was slowly turning cold, I guess I was in there long enough for it to turn cold. I immediately got out of the shower, grabbed my towel and started to dry off, I look into the mirror and I still had soap subs all over my head and face. I forgot to rinse off. So I got back into the shower and rinsed off in cold water. I then got out dried off and started to put my clothes on. I then saw my new exelon Patch (a med used for the alzheimer's.) So  I had to take my shirt off and put the new patch on. I am suppose to not put the patch in the same place on my body and rotate them so they are not on the same spot and do this so it does not happen for every two weeks. So I have learned to use a black marker and draw an arrow pointing to which way I need to put the next patch the next day. So I did that so then I wondered if I put on deodrant yet, smelled my pits and they did not smell bad but I did not smell like deordant either. After that, I wondered about my teeth, ran my tongue accross my teeth and new they were not brushed either. So I did that. Then I walked out into the living room to do to my room. Bob, my room mate, asked me if I forgot something. I turned around and looked back into the bath room and did not see anything, I put all my stuff into the cabinet that I keep all my stuff in and turned back around and he was laughing. He said maybe I should not say anything but I would not want you to go to breakfast with out your clothes on.  I looked back into the back of the bath room door and there hung my shirt and shorts I was am now have on to go and mow. This all was very exhausting, funny, frustrating and I am a little tired already. So I went down to the barn yard, ate and came back up here to complete this journal entry. Which I have now done. God Bless  Phil & Flops