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ducktape 
4:51pm, April 28, 2009
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i hit the f#@#king enter button again...!!!! and not am screwed... but was up crying at 12 30 adn the up at 400 crying... i saw a siloette or persona at my moms... and then had a chill and my lil sis felt it too... so we think it was teresa... cause all the fam was there except one of her kids... here hubby is all to hell, her kids seem to be doing ok... missing her but they are doing better than us old folks... i forgot my midday meds... that didn't hlep any... my meds are a kicking in ... so sguesse i will go and lay down... love you all... hugzzzz... karen :)
ducktape
i have found the benefits of medicating oneself to sleep... i did finally sleep and do feel better... even though i got woke by the phone at 7 00.... evenything is ok... it was my daughter askinng something about her decorations... but the extra geodon did help with all the other stuff i took... so i feel better than i did... no more tears and it is now 7 30... and i can get started on what is left that i can do... i know that sounds kinda pissy... i should be glad that i can do anything... i feel better, but guess i am still pissy feeling... perhaps i will work on christmas presents... that may help me to feel better to get some of that stuff figured out that i bought... god i wish i would have had an idea of what i was doing while i was manic... cuase now i am depressed and don't have a clue except... i got stuff... i can remember kinda what i got the kids, cause i tried to stay with an even amout of presents.... i still gotta be faire either thought they are grown and probably don't give a shit... eheheheh.... perhaps now i can give some hugzzzz.... cause i am feeling better and not crying... :)
i hope that my friends have a great day!!!! love an hugzzzz.... karen :)
ducktape
wow!!! now i read this at 1 30 pm and i was all to peices... but have gotten my meds stragight and got some sleep... and have been tinkering around some... and do feel much better than i did earlier... thank god!!! i am glad that nobody has read this until now... but things are ok now... love and hugzzz... :) karen
ducktape
i talked to my mom and she seen something too... so it wasn't just my imagination cause i didn't have my meds... she was there...!!!
ducktape
I'll talk about the rest of this on a pm, but I just have to say this: YES, even as adults, we kids DO give a shit still if our siblings get more presents than we do! LOL! It sounds so petty but when you have so much sibling rivalry that goes on and playing favorites like at my house, it's hard not to feel like a total jerk when you see someone else get tons of stuff and you only get a little, so good for you to do that!! You're an awesome mom for it!
beingmyself