101swoop101's Journal

It doesn't make sense how much I have struggled to get back in school. Everything started off great when I left high school for college, but after I started getting sick (mostly from depression and stress), I failed. Ok, the next school year, I was able to get an academic apeal, but I didn't have the money. I ended up transfering, but my heart was still at my first school and my old field of study (music), so I transfered back.....I got the application and all accepted months ago. Now all I need, once again, is financial aid. I had to fill out a financial aid appeal, but I still dont know how much money I'm getting. It's Nov. now, & I'm suppose to be returning in Jan.

The most upsetting part is that at the other school, I kept my grades up (well above a 3.0), but since it was an art school none of my credits will transfer over...and neither did my GPA. My first school, I had so many issues & only passed like 2 or 3 classes that entire school year...but I dont think anyone understands how hard it was for me. I was dealing on my own...I was raped months before I started...(the last time he got me was that Jan-07, first sept-06, and I started school in Aug-07)...Im trying so hard to take control of my life...but it seems everytime I take one step, Im knocked back 2 more...I want so much to give up...it hurts so much everytime a door is closed in my face...every failure feel like a daggar to my heart, but I cant stop trying...even though I really want to. All I want is to finally have my second chance. Being in school made me so happy...and all I needed was a counselor & I think I would have been fine....I know I woulda been much better, but I wont kno until I'm back in.......but if I dont have enough money, then what do I do........