101swoop101's Journal

It's this guy that I really really like...before I gained weight...& even when I was younger (I was a fat kid up til high school), whenever I really liked a guy, he showed some type of interest in me...usually, he secretly liked me too.......but this guy is different...he's graduated from college, and is now the head director at my high school alma mater...this is his 2nd year out of school, so even if he did like me, how would I know...I dont look like I did a year or two ago, but Im still cute (I've heard).....maybe if I wasn't so shy & ashamed of myself...I even tried to dress better a few times, & he barely looked...or atlease I didn't notice...I dont fit into my real clothes, so I have to wear hand me downs til I can buy something or either lose weight...I think he's still single, but if I dont get his attention quick, he'll be taken......

He's smart, cute, and so wonderful......I haven't ever liked anyone this much in a while...then he's light skinned, & I usually don't want to persue lighter complextion guys, unless there white, hispanic, french, etc...(any thing but light skinned)...

& IT SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im like soooooooooo scared to show any affection towards him, even in a friendly way, because I dont want to be rejected by him..........he's not perfect, he has his flaws, but still, his dimeanor...it really speaks to me....& the more Im around him (even last year when I visited the school for a couple of weeks or so) I become more & more drawn to him........................& it's sooooooooooo scary....