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nurse23 
2:09am, November 10, 2009
This is probably one of the hardets journals ive had to write since the girls died.
As some of you know.. i met a guy, and we were planning on getting engaged. Some of you i had already invited before he even asked me.
I cant tell you how stupid, foolish, and what a waste of a person i feel like.
I caught him cheating on me today. With some girl, hes been dating 3 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He accidently sent me a text message that was meant for someone else. and it said.. "whyd you send me that, my gf just read it"... he was supposed to be at a "confrence " for work with a fellow partner at work.
Me not being an idot knows that text was obviously meant for another girl! So I call him and she answers. Hes been sleeping with both of us the whole time.
To make it worse. She works for his dad. And ive called work before and said.. oh its his gf, and they said .. whats your name?
His mom welcomed me with open arms, and hugs, into her house, to dinner, knowing he was two timing me.. this is supposed to be a good christian family. I dont understand. How could she not in good faith say anything to me. Hint at it. Ive had private phone calls with her before, she had ample opportunity to tell me. I came over every week for gods sake.
He knows everything ive been through. I dont understand why hed pick me.
Why he was on a dating site , when he had a gf for 3 years?
He called me all weekend. told me how much he loved me. even had a elaborate story about what they talked about in the confrences. He never went to any confrences. He went to go see this girl in orlando.
The whole time!
He had the nerve to leave my b-day to go see her.. meet me at the cemetary and stand with me as i sobbed over crystal and cadences grave!
What kind of person does this?
Theres cheating.. and then .. theres psychological problems.
Its so hard for me. He was my everything. I used to pray every night that if it were right god would keep us together.
and he always did. Life seemed so perfect.. so great.. until this afternoon, when my world came just shattering down.
I couldnt see anything but us having a lifetime together. We both said how we'd never be happy if we werent together in any senario in the future.
WERE THESE ALL LIES?????????
I dont understand. Is it me? What did i do wrong to deserve this? I never even saw it coming!
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I am so sorry to hear this happened to you! :o(
You didn't do anything wrong. You are a sincere and good hearted woman. He is the one with a problem. I hope you can see that. ((super big hugs to you))
Ciora
I'm so sorry that SOB did that to you. What he did is so not your fault; and if he can't see the loving person you are then he doesn't deserve you.
carebear09
pick your head up and move on he dont deserve you...i know it hurts but move on....go buy your self something and go out and have fun....dont give him anymore of your time....you did nothing to deserve this...HE IS THE JERK
Joshsmommie
Hun trust me as hard as this is to hear... better you found out now than after you married the creep and had his babies.... Consider yourself blessed by God and now RUN dont walk away.... There are wonderful men in the world I have one that I have been married to for 30 years and he I KNOW has never cheated on me I know this because I knew him along time (since he was 16) before we married and I know the kind of man he is.
Good luck hun and God bless ,
Janette
elainebr
You are a sweet and kind person and he took advantage of that. You deserve far better than that . Sadly there are lot of opportunist out there. Be very cautious. This is the same advice I give my daughter.
missulance
what a dink! I know I dont know you very well or know much about this guy but you really deserve better! I hope this other girl dumped his ass as well. keep ur head up I am here if u need to talk or whatever love adrianna
nodoubt
hun, the good news is you found out before you had made a permenant comitment to this man. Dont be too hard on his mom, If the girl worked for his dad, he could have ready lies for contact between them.
inpainincanada
Thank you all so much for your support. It hurts less a little everyday.. and his response was that he didnt leave her becuae although he was unhappy with his relationship with her.. she had his car and a job w the dad.
She did dump him . and deleted all pics of him as I am too. I have a few left to delete.
You are all right . That SOMEWHERE out there, someone raised a good son.Who wants to be with me, and loves me for me.
I asked my mom whos been married 35 years if my dad did this to her now, if she would take him back , and work thigns out, and she absouletly not! hes a liar.A pathological liar.
I was surprised my mom would say that. And it meant a lot.
nurse23
I know you feel violated. and you ahve the right to feel that way . It is hard to say what to do . i say move on . It is sad that people cheat and hurt people and do not seem to tkink there is anything wrong with it. he will get his due some day . It best for you to move on . They are not all like that . there are good honest men out there, yes hard to find but keep looking. This will set you back but when the time is right and right one comes along it will be better. My son whnt through this heart break with a cheating girl. It was so hard for him to get over but he did find some one and they did get married.
We live and learn. I will keep you in my prayers and ask the Lord to ease your heart break . It will take time but anything worth having is worth the time it takes to get it. keep you chin up Keep the son in your eyes for he has his eyes on you. Ann
Mamob
Oh Sweet Baby Girl, I am so sorry you have been hurt. It is more than hurt it is betrayal. Not just him,and her, but his family as well. That just plain sucks. I do not know why bad things happen to good people, but it seems they do all the time. I can only say that I am at least glad you had not married him or had a baby with him. That would have been even worse. Nothing I can say will help, just like with the death of the girls, this will be a diffrent sort of grief, but it is a grief too. And anger. It took me till I was 35 to find my true love. I knew James 8 years as a friend, except we were in love for several of those years and just would not admit it to ourselves much less each other. Now we've been married 21 years, and still are best friends in love. Don't give up. You are stroner and smarter and you are beautiful inside and out. You will find someone when you least expect it. Just take your time and heal.Love Peggy
grndmudder