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nurse23’s Profile

  • Image of nurse23

    About Me

    "When a catapillar dies, a butterfly is born" I am here to support and help others, who have lost their loved ones as well. I was diagnosed with PTSD shortly after stopping to help at a fatal accident on I-75, in tampa, on in Feb 11, 2007 at 3:55 PM. There were five people traveling in a mercedes, three were ejected, one survived. A 17 year old mother and her 18 month old baby- died in my arms as I tried to save them. I am only 23. The guilt, and anger I carry on a daily basis are almost too much to bear. I have since become very close with the family-and often feel guilt for not being able to do more to save their girls. I know in my heart that their injuries were just too extensive. I am so angry-- angry with god, and have lost a sense of who I am. I am trying to deal with the flashbacks, nightmears, sounds and smells that trigger those memories-- but hoping that someone here has something they can offer..

    Interests

    I am currently working on my BSN in Nursing-- and someday want to be a trauma nurse. I like to do yoga, paint pottery, lay out on the beach, go to comedy shows, draw, have martini's with the girls..have wild crazy nights on the town, spend the night ordering in and watching movies, and especially spend money-- which I rarely have.

  • Recent Activity

    Yesterday

  • Journal

    • Career Goal Update.

      Mood December 3, 2008 7:36am

      12/2/08

       

       As difficult as it is to admit, I recognize that my love for trauma and high intensity nursing, is not for me. I go back to my …

    • Career Goal Update.

      Mood December 3, 2008 7:36am

      12/2/08

       

       As difficult as it is to admit, I recognize that my love for trauma and high intensity nursing, is not for me. I go back to my …

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  • Hugbook

    Give nurse23 a hug



    • Hug

      From grndmudder Today

      Letting go of the past is a very high goal to set for one's self, but it is a very good and productive one, and most certainly a good one. I hope I can be here to help in some small way. Love,Peggy

    • Well Done

      From lemonea Yesterday

      you can do it!

    • Prayer

      From suzzieq1 Yesterday

    • Cheers

      From mackmiss Tuesday

      Here's a little Cheer for you woman of God! Be Blessed and keep blessing others! Tammy

    • Little Love

      From melliethebee Tuesday

      I was thinking both grace and faith as middle names.. or even hope.. IM still tryingf to think how i can use damians names in these little girls names!! LEts hope i get no more!! TWO is just fine thanks!! HOw r u anways???

    Read Hugbook

  • Photos

  • Goals

    Beat this nicotine habit!

    Months

    66 days smoke free. Last update Dec 3, 08
    Keep myself busy

    Progress

    90 %

    Goal End Date is Aug 9, 08 117 days ago.
    View all in progress Goals
    Reach 100 members

    Progress

    80 %

    Goal End Date is Jan 1, 09 28 more days.
    Pass My NET Exam!

    Progress

    90 %

    Goal End Date is Oct 15, 08 50 days ago.
    Loose 45 lbs this year

    Progress

    15 %

    Goal End Date is Dec 31, 08 27 more days.
    Current Weight (Lbs)
    10
    Become more Independent!

    Progress

    0 %

    Savings (Dolla)
    700
    Get a Great Job

    100%

    Goal Completed on Jun 19, 08

  • Support Groups

    • Close Bereavement
      Type: Loss of a Child

      I am a 23 year old nursing student. Last year, in Feb. I stopped at horrible car accident on I-75 in Tampa, Fl, where 5 young teens had flipped their car off the side of the interstate into some trees. Three passengers were ejected, a male, a young girl 17 and her 18 month old baby. We Had no first aid supplies or even gloves. The mother died in my arms as I tried desperatly to revive her, and the baby, was so severly injurded from being thrown through the glass, she died instantly.

      Treatments

      Art Working / Worked
      Helps me focus my negative energy into something else, and keep my mind active.
      Crying Working / Worked
      A good cry always make me feel better!
      DailyStrength Working / Worked
      Would not be here without the support of all these amazing people!
      Getting Angry Working / Worked
      Helps me realize there is no one to blame.
      Grief Counseling Working / Worked
      Seeing a LMC specialized in PTSD.
      Helping Others Working / Worked
      Started several support groups in their memory, and gives me something postive to focus on.
      Keeping Busy Working / Worked
      Painting Pottery, Scrapbooking, Yoga, Running, Shopping.
      Music Working / Worked
      Keeps the mind occupied.
      Positive Thinking Working / Worked
      Trying to understand Gods plan rather than question it.
      Prayer Somewhat Helpful
      Learning to finnaly understand Gods plan!
      Psychotherapy Considering
      Reading Working / Worked
      Everthing available, that is uplifting and positive on PTSD or Christianity. 90 Mins in Heaven, The purpose driven life- are purhaps the two most uplifting books Ive read lately.
      Remembering Not Working
      Flashbacks are perhaps the worst part of this. So I try to do all of these thing to NOT remember the day.
      Scrapbooking Working / Worked
      Keeps my mind occupied, is nice to reminise about old times. On the down side, it reminds you of how much you have lost, and where you are in life.
      Talking Somewhat Helpful
      Very Difficult to Relive without getting overwhelmed
      Yoga Working / Worked
      Yoga Slow Breathing 2x daily and running 1 mile 3 times a week. Slows down the heart rate. And helps with muscle tightness. I have noticed a big change in anxiety and mood change.

    • Close Accidents

      Treatments

      Yoga Working / Worked
      Positive Thinking Working / Worked
      Making the most of a Horrific Situation
      Art Working / Worked
      Helps me to keep my mind active, and not think about the past.
      DailyStrength Working / Worked
      Helping Others Working / Worked
      Talking with others on the network and at work ( in nursing ) who have lost loved ones in Car Accidents.
      Ultram Working / Worked
      Relieves lower back pain immediately. Causes some drowsiness.

    • Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

      Treatments

      Art Working / Worked
      Love painting pottery, scrapbooking, picture frames-- anything that occupies my mind
      Effexor Not Working
      Horrible Side Effects. Bad Headaches, if you miss a dose. Causes suicidal ideaiation.
      Music Working / Worked
      Paxil Somewhat Helpful
      Psychotherapy Considering
      Reading Somewhat Helpful
      Talking Working / Worked
      Going to a LMC specialized in PTSD.
      Topamax Working / Worked
      Memory loss, Weight and appitite loss.
      Positive Thinking Working / Worked
      Not focusing on the negative
      DailyStrength Working / Worked
      Helping Others Working / Worked
      Talking on the network with others who have been through similar experiences, and knowing that im not alone.

    • Open Insomnia

      I have worked night shift in the medical field for about 4 1/2 years, but suffer from PTSD after wittnessing a fatal accident involving a teen and her baby, about a year ago. The Flashbacks and nightmears, make me not want to sleep, or wake me up in the middle of the night, with rapid pulse, and tremors.

      Treatments

      Ativan Working / Worked
      Not Strong Enough -- Moved up to Klonopin and OTC sleeping pill which still dont always cut out the nightmears.
      Lavender Working / Worked
      Bath and Body Works has a great spray and calming lotions.
      Meditation Working / Worked
      Yoga Every night, and in the morning for at least 15 mins, with deep breathing.
      Music Working / Worked
      Relaxing, but wont make me fall asleep.
      Reading Working / Worked
      The best have been - Hello from heaven 90 mins in Heaven A Purpose Driven Life
      Restoril Working / Worked
      Good Shit. 15-30mg.
      Trazodone Working / Worked
      Not strong enough, but a great alternative to a non narcotic/benzodiapine drug and is also used as an anti depressant.
      Ultram Working / Worked
      OTC Sleeping Pills - Fast Asleep 50 Mg X 2. Works Amazing!

    • Open College Stress

      I am attending school for nursing and am able to apply for the nursing program in july of 08. After wittnessing a fatal accident i feel i may be having a change of heart in career direction, and am considering a change of direction. I am interested in a lot of different areas of health care, counseling, social work, and community outreach-- but would like people with unique jobs to approach me with new ideas, and encourage me to seek other opportunites out there.

      Treatments

      Sleep Working / Worked
      Just Sleep it off.
      Support from Friends & Family Not Working
      My family is not much support!
      Positive Thinking Working / Worked
      Mentally preparing myself for success

    • Open Parenting Newborns & Infants (0-1)

      I am not a mom YET. I am a 23 year old nursing student, who loves working with children, but my true passion in life is working in truama . I joined this group b/c I stopped at a fatal accient last year in 2007, where three of five passengers were ejeced in a rollover. One was an 18 month old baby, who WAS in her carseat. Her mother died in my arms as I tried to save her. I miss them both and am working hard to try and educated as many people as possible about car seat saftey!

    • Open Pregnancy - Teens

      Ive worked with adolecents as well as on labor and delievery for sometime as a health care worker. So Im here to offer my support.

    • Open Bone Marrow Transplant

      Im 23, and b pos, just signed up to be a donor and was recently accepted and registered. Waiting for someone to need me..

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