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springawakening 
2:48pm, November 17, 2009
First of all, I want to apologize for my absence. I have had a lot on my mind and have been highly stressed and, well, depressed. I have realizied how foolish I have been, though. Maybe there are things in my life that bring me down, but I am so blessed, and I forget that sometimes. Silly me. :)
Life will never be perfect, and things will always go wrong. We can't control them. When relationships fall apart, we can't stop that. When our loved ones die, we can't bring them back. We just need to sit back and relax. Everything happens for a reason, and life goes on. The truth about life is it's not always fair. But the beauty about life is it goes on. It goes on. Don't forget that.
Visit givesmehope.com and, if you're feeling hopeless, you'll see just how wonderful this life can be. Remember, you are beautiful, and you give me hope. Don't ever forget that.
<3
UPDATED GOALS
Quit cutting
Progress 75%
Encouragements: 2
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Comments
Well I've resisted the urge several times in the last few months. I've prevented myself from ouching even when I felt it was the only thing I could do. I conquered it at times when I normally would have done some serious damage. I guess I'm a little proud, and I figure I should give myself some credit here.
Check this video. I like it!
UPDATED GOALS
Quit cutting
Progress 25%
Encouragements: 2
Add your supportComments
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Good for you! Every passing second is another chance to turn it all around. Also, belief creates.
I wish I hadn't ruined everything.
I wish I hadn't been so emotional.
I wish I hadn't told her anything.
I wish I could have told her everything.
I wish I wasn't so screwed up.
So my mom hates my boyfriend, which really upsets me cuz I plan on spending the rest of my life with him. It's my fault she hates him cuz if something went wrong, I'd go running to her and whine. She hears things, my point-of-view, so now she thinks he's the bad guy. If only...if only I could tell her that all the fights are my fault too. He and I...we both have issues. I tell her his, but keep mine inside. Oh, but if she only knew, she'd hate me too.
Other than that, my family is falling apart. My mom and stepdad are on the verge of divorce, and he's a hopeless drunken bastard while she's a helpless bipolar wreck. She needs to take her medicine, and he needs to kick the disgusting habit. I tried to sympathize with him, saying he was only drinking cuz he was stressed out, but I'm tired of him. Even my little brother, his son, is sick of him. He told me he only loves his daddy sometimes, but most of the time he doesn't. Isn't that sad? I guess it's all okay though, cuz he said he's through of the whole lot of us. Then get out of our house already. Geez.
Also, my mother hasn't been home for most of the summer. Yeah, it's ridiculously depressing that she and her husband fight so much when she isn't even here. Well, she's been away to be with her parents. My grandmother needed help taking care of my grandfather because of his surgery, but now the cancer's back, and he's...he's dying. So I don't know if she's going to come home before...or after.
So this is my life at the mo'. Starting college very soon. Maybe things will get better, maybe worse. I don't know. But right this second, I kind of hate my shitty life.
Love you guys!
Comments
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I'm here for you always
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yeah that sucks. well u know, i think ur guy is a nice one. wish i could find someone good like that. sorry things are screwy. but maybe she will turn around. as far as the fam goes, dont they just suck sometimes? ha. anyway hope colleghe is good for u!
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Ah, poor thing! I'm really sorry about your grandpa. As far as the others, you really cannot control what anyone else does--I would advise just looking after yourself. You are in a fragile state for a long time now and you need to take extra care with yourself. I know it's hard, but try to focus on yourself and your goals and dreams. If you've found love, then hang onto it! But don't be afraid to let go if it goes bad. Sometimes it takes more courage to walk away then to stay where you are. College is fun! I know things are going to get better for you, even if they dont for the rest of your family. hang in there!
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Damn. Yeah, this is life, isn't it? Sorry about all that. When you get to school, and the emotional baggage of all this comes with you, try to start letting it go and focus on your work and your new life. Keep in touch with the ones who matter most. This is the end of your old life and the begining of your new one. Grab your future by the face, Friend!
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your story sounds so much like mine..minus the grandpa thing (sorry by the way). both of my parents drink alot, and then fight about it, then drink to get over the fight. they've thought about divorce many times. i always complain to my mom about my bf, mainly cause i have no friends to tell. and usually we fight cause i was nagging or annoying or just emotional. im also starting college, maybe it will be a fresh start to new lives for us.
Past Entries
| July 2009 |
Wednesday, 7/15
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May 2009 |
Wednesday, 5/20
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Monday, 5/18
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Monday, 5/18
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April 2009 |
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Monday, 4/27
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Monday, 4/27
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Wednesday, 4/22
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Saturday, 4/18
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Saturday, 4/11
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Sunday, 4/05
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February 2009 |
Monday, 2/16
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Thursday, 2/05
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August 2008 |
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Thursday, 8/28
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July 2008 |
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Thursday, 7/31
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June 2008 |
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Thursday, 6/26
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Sunday, 6/08
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Saturday, 6/07
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Goal Updated
i want to thank u! i came across this journal entry and it made me smile, especially when i went on to that web site, some of the storys are amazing, i loved the one about the little boy buying his mum the jewlerry at wal mart with his gift vouchers! very nice to read things like that! thanks for sharing it :)
acrichton
Good for you! Life is all about perception--yours. You are the only one who can make yourself happy, so don't hesitate to do so! Go for your dreams and follow your heart--sounds cliche, but it's truly the only way to live. Take care of yourself!
Humunculus