Challice's Journal

It has been some time since I wrote in my journal but I felt I was up to it tonight.  It's 3:00 AM and I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd do some writing.  When I left off in my last entry I had was in the hospital having my first child.  Mother being past out and not calling my husband.  When I was in labor it was very hard.  In those days they gave you a laxitive to help induce labot.  I was scared having a baby at such a young age to start with.  No one to talk to to ask questions and being treated badly by the nurses in the hospital.  I was scared and didn't know what was going on.  The labor pains were for many hours.  My water had broke several hours before I finaly delivered.  I can remember being in a room by myself and seeing a nurse every once in a while who would check me to see how much I had dialated.  Every time I would ask for a drink of water or if I could have something for pain I would get scarcastic answers from the nusrses.  Statements such as "you are too young to be having a baby, but if you were old enough to do what I did to get pregnant I can handle having a baby on my own".  I walked around the room I was in since that is what I was told to do.  I couldn't sit, couldn't lie down, couldn't hardly walk.  Hours of this was wearing me down.  Not counting I had already been up the night before without sleep.  I was so tired.  I would get back in the bed and try to nap for a second or two, then a labor pain would hit.  I was not a screamer at all, I kept all the sounds inside by just gritting my teeth.  I would ask them if my husband or mother were out in the waiting room.  Nobody would even look for me.  I couldn't even call them myself.  They kept me "locked" in the labor room. I just wanted to go to sleep.  I was so so tired.  I could hardly keep my eyes open between pains.  At one point the nurse came in and gave me a shot to help me relax. (finaly). After she gave me this shot I immediately fell asleep.  I would sleep in between pains and was so groggy from the shot I couldn't hold my head up. The next thing I remember was being put on a gurney and wheeled down the hall.  Put into another room (delivery). They kept yelling at me and I kelpt falling asleep. The drug they gave me was really kicking in and everything around me was foggy.  I remeber having my legs put into the stirrups.  And seeing all these people in this room dressed in scubs with masks on.  I couldn't understand them sometimes when they talked.At one point I past out again and would wake up with a severe pain.  They kept telling me not to push.  But that wasn't as easy as it sounds when the baby wanted to come out.  When the doctor came in and examined me (down there) he started yelling at the nurses.  "why wasn't I called sooner" "herwater had broke some time ago and this is a dry birth" "I sould have been called hours ago" "I am going to have to cut the baby out down there since it's to late for a c section" I then past out again.  The next thing I remember is someone putting something over my face.  I woke up swinging since it felt like someone trying to sufficate me.  I decked the nurse and nocked her down.  They then yelled at me and told me it was gas she was trying to give me and to breath it in.  OK Now That I Know whats going on!!!! I then was given gas.  Every once in a while I was told to push.  I past out several times when I was pushing and then she would give me gas and knock me out.  I remember hearing a baby cry, then out again.  I woke up on a stretcher in a room that was quite dark and very quiet.  I was still quite grogy and didn't know where I was.  I put my hand on my belly and there was NO baby anymore.  So I knew I had made it through delivery, but didn't know about my baby.  A nurse came in and I was upset.  I started crying very badly.  She told me to shut up and she was going to take me back to my room.  I still didn't know about my baby.  After a few hours had gone by and I sobbered up some, they came in with my baby!!!!! Finaly I got to know what I had and hold it.  I looked at his tag in the bassenet next to the bed.  It was a boy and he weighed 8 lbs and 12 oz., 20 inches long. I was so happy to have him in my arms. He was so cute.  They let me have him for only a short time then came and toook him back to the nursery.  They told me to rest since I had had such a hard delivery.  I slep for a long while.  When I woke up again in seemed like it was the next day.  About 11:00 my husband showed up. He had seen the baby in the nursery and was quite happy too.  I asked where mother was and was told that he sent her home since she had been asleep in the waiting room.  When she woke up the hospital said she was acting ignorant to every one and asked her to leave.  At one point somewhere along the way home she stopped and had someone else call my husband to notify him I was in the hospital. After having a much clearer head I asked what day it was. Two days had past since I got there.  The doctor came in on my third day there.  He said it was a hard delivery and he had to cut 4 layers and stitch me up since I had riped badly.  I wasnt to go up any stairs or do any walking for several days.  After four days in the hospital I was allowed to go home as long as I followed the doctors orders.  I was SO SORE there it hurt to take two steps. I krept like a old lady would.  It was very painful.  My mother had to come pick me up since my husband went back to school.  WOW, just what I needed, Mother again.  They wheeled me out to her van and I could'nt hardly lift my leg to get in it.  Once I finaly made my way up to the seat I was in tears. I sat carefully in the seat then they handed me my baby.  When we got home to mothers, she got out of the van and left me sitting in it.  Didn't even try to help me.  I couldn't get out and hold the baby too.  I honked the horn on the van until she came back out.  I told her I needed help.  I finaly got her to hold the baby as i made my way out of the van and into the house, SLOWLY!!!! When I got inside I was in tears. I sat down on the couch and cried.  Mother asked what was wrong with me.,  SHE never had any problems giving birth, it should have been a piece of cake.  I then told her about the riping and layers of stiches I had. She laughed and laid down on the couch and went to sleep.  She was no help with the baby when he neded to be fed at 3:00 in the morning and I had to get up and walk.  It killed me.  I tore several stiches out in the process. 

Well, enough about my child birth.  I'm getting tired myself right nowm, so I'm going to go try to get some sleep.  I'll continue today later on.