Challice's Journal

As an animal lover that I am, (zolology/botany degrees) There was a cold winter on the farm when the bay was frozen completely over.  Ships couldn't even get through.  My mother and sister had a dog (Chesapeake Bay Retreiver) his name was Turk, shor for the name of our old farm Turkey Point.  I had asked mother where Turk was ans if he had been fed.  It was bitter cold outside and I felt he should have a warm place.  Mother said to leave the damn dog outside he'll be fine.  She was to feed him as I was told.  I felt sorry form him outside since he would go under the house to stay warm.  The next morning he had frozen to death under the house.  I was Pisst off at mother royaly.  If you want to get to me just hurt an animal.  You got war.  I got so mad at her I began yelling at her blaming her of not taking care of the dog like she did everything else.  What I remember following that was a knock down drag out fight.  I was starting to stand up for my self in some ways. This action of hers was not tolerable for me, No animal deserved that.  I couldn't even dig a hole to bury him in since the grounds were so frozen.  What I dod remember about this incident was the punches "I" got in.  I was proud of myself.  She had pulled handfulls of my hair out, busted my lip wide open, cut me up pretty good from flinging me around in the kitchen.  It was a draw!!!! I hadn't fought like that before, I would usualy get beaten and not fight back.  I guess she had hit a nerve.  From that point on I guess she figured out I wasn't going to take her shit any more.  She was much more cautious of me after that.  Inside I was scared to death to go to sleep. I didn't know if she would come in with a knife or something.  About this same time I was also just fiinding out I was pregnant.  She knew it too. But that didn't matter during the fight and fortuneatly I didn't lose the baby.  When I told my Grandparents I was pregnant shit hit the fan.  I was trash, a whore a slut and anything else you can think of.  I remember my Grandfather and Grandmother telling me I was NOT welcome in their house and for them Not to expect to raise any more children.  They were stuck with the ones mother had and had enough.  They asked if the boy was going to marry me.  Not being in love as I should have been I got married anyway.

Part 3

I was 16 and pregant living with mother.  The day after I got married my husband went off to college.  That was his priority.  I stayed with mother during my pregnacy and I was excited.  Looking for guidence on raising a child I of couse would look towards her.  Why not she had 5 children, she ought to know.  I saw my husband one night a week.  He came home after spending time with "his mother and father" to me.  It was always late at night when he would arrive on a Sat. night then get up and leave the next morning.  Mother kept telling me I didn't need to go to a hospital to deliver she would do it.  NOTA!!!!!! NO NO NO!!!! I wouldn't have any part of that.  I made her take me to the doctors for my check ups.  As it came time to deliver the baby I was so afraid she wouldn't take me to the hospital.  The hospital was 35 miles away.

One morning I awoke to a wet bed, when I stood up water just ran out.  OK, I know what this means!!!!!  Mother was passed out on the couch as fucked up as you could get.  I couldn't harly get her awake.  When I did wake her I told her my water had broke, IT's TIME!!!!!! No she said, your not in any pain yet.  OK, is that next???? As she fell back asleep.  I waited and waited for at least two or three hours.  Now the contractions and pain is coming.  The pain was getting bad.  I woke her up again, and again finaly getting her up with some insistance. She told me it just wasn't time yet.  My pain was at a point I couldn't sit still.  I got into her car and drove to the nearest neighbors (4 miles away) that had a phone since we didn't.  I called my dodctor who also wasn't around.  I spoke with a nurse and she told me to come on to the hospital.  Well, when I went back and told mother she drug her feet forever.  I could see now what she was doing. NO she isn't going to deliver this baby!!!!!! I went out and got in the car and told her I was going to the hospital.  She came out of the house and got into the car. I drove to the hospital.  When I got there after having been inlabor now since early that morning it's now 2:00 AM the next morning.  They examined me and told me to go back home since I hadn't dialated. OH NO, you can't keep me?????? Please keep me.  They said not until I was more dialated.  Well, mother had this "I TOLD YOU SO" look when they told her.  So, home again I went.  Mother drove me this time.  I was hurting bad!!!!! On our way home she stopped in out her "friends/dealer's house), while I sat in the car.  The next thing I saw was her and him out in the front yard "Doing IT"  You know fucking in broad daylight.  Right on the lawn.  It's now about 7:00 AM as "MY"  old school bus drove by.The one I had road to school with All the people I knew on it.  Here I sit in the car in labor.  By the time we got home besides being quite upset (BAD)., but in severe labor now I had her turn around and drive me back to the hospital.  They WERE going to keep me or I'd have the baby in the parking lot before I would let her touch me.  By now she had copped some drugs and was again all f--ked up!!!! Along with a gallon of vodka she had picked up.  Yes a gallon. My labor pains wer getting closer and closer an harder and harder.She was so messed up all I had to do was push her out of the drivers seat into the passenger seat.  I got in and drove back to the hospital.  When I got there I just left her in the car and walked in the hospital.  This time they kept me.  After I got in they drugged me pretty good.  The labor lasted at least another 12 hours.  I also had a "dry" birth since there had been so much time since my water had broke.  Now 17 and scared to death.  I told the nurses I had left mother in the car and she needed to call my husband.  They said they had told her. My son was born around 8:20 AM. 8 lb and 7 oz, 21 inches long. Perfect BOY.  After I had come to from the gas and drugs they game me I asked where my husband was.  Nobody had called him.  It was late that night before he got there.  When he came in the room he said "I see your mother's here" "she's passed out in the waiting room floor."  Well I'll continue this later, my back is hurting me as I sit here and type.  Part 3 cont'd.