Help for a pre-teen and his Dad!
September 11, 2008 12:19pm
I am new to family life, and could really use some advice supporting my partner and 'our' 12 year old son.
My partner and I are …
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abixxx
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About Me
abixxx
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About Me
Despite what it says in my original post, I am a deliriously happy woman these days! My life has changed so much since originally joining this site - I have met the man of my dreams and have left the UK to be with him and his son in Indiana! I have also made many new friends and renewed close bonds with existing friends - it's amazing what falling in love can do for the heart :) I wouldn't say I feel like a new woman, more like the real me - the person I was before caught up in the turmoil of a unhappy marriage and the isolation of fighting to save something that no longer made either of us happy. Sometimes it seems we become locked in struggles that aren't even our own. I realise I have been so very lucky, and even the trials of settling into a new country with a family for the first time (yikes, pre-teens are cute but tough!), seem exciting and desirable. I spend my days pretty much alone now, being new and so far unable to work due to visa restrictions, but nothing dampens my spirits and I am thankful for all that has been bestowed upon me. I love the family I am in, and although I miss my own in the UK, find peace in the knowledge that I have found home. Life is not without hitches tho, the primary one being how to help a pre-teen, and more significantly, his Dad, through the inevitable challenges that lay ahead. Both recently divorces/seperated, we are trying to balance life with Mom and her new partner, and life with us here and although I am so fortunate to be able to say my soon-to-be stepson is a joy and a pleasure to be around, helping him adjust to two families can be overwhelming. We get on great and it's such a rleief to know I am not adding to 'our' 12 year olds stress, but his Dad is struggling with the sharing. And the constant demands for X-box and all things related! Never having had children myself, I am now truly blessed and want to get this family thing right - any help on the issues we face together would be SO appreciated! Being new to this I have little to draw on and would be so very grateful for help! And, being selfish for a moment, company too - I miss having people to talk to and just while away time with, and also working surprisingly! I would love to hear from anyone who would like to get in touch! Thanks for listening :) Abi. September 08 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Recently seperated, single woman for the first time, no kids and fast approaching 40 ... trying not to panic about what comes next! I work in mental health and having had depression and anxiety all my life to varying degrees, have a genuine affinity with my clients - and a twisted sense of humour to prove it! Six months down the seperation road and I can't believe how differently I feel about life. I've met and talked to so many people who have been through or are going through the same stuff, and it gives enormous strength to hear that people survive and prosper. I'd definitely say I'm coming out the other side, and these days my worries are those of a single woman moving on with her life than a seperated or abondened wife! My husband remains a good friend so my sense of loss is less than I ever thought it would be. Now all I need is help to get over my seperation issues from my best friend who lives in Canada! Oh and any advice anyone can give about getting back into the wsing of things so to speak, please give generously, all donations gratefully received!
Despite what it says in my original post, I am a deliriously happy woman these days! My life has changed so much since originally joining this site - I have met the man of my dreams and have left the UK to be with him and his son in Indiana! I have also made many new friends and renewed close bonds with existing friends - it's amazing what falling in love can do for the heart :) I wouldn't say I feel like a new woman, more like the real me - the person I was before caught up in the turmoil of a unhappy
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Interests
I am a serious sports fan - European and US, although I don't play anything other than the fool! A lazy sports fan then. I love talking to people and on most issues affecting human beings and the complicated, emotional place we live in. Things I've rediscovered since being single again - messing around with arts, drawing, writing childrens stories, crap tv and walking on the beach by my house. Oh and did I mention talking?
I am a serious sports fan - European and US, although I don't play anything other than the fool! A lazy
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Journal
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Looking up
June 17, 2008 5:14pm
Thought I'd update a little as it's been a little while and my mood has changed quite a bit.
Having recovered from the …
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Why so blue?
June 9, 2008 11:25am
Does anyone else possess the desire to swap brains with someone much more emotionally stable and socially gifted than themselves? I …
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Er, hello?
June 6, 2008 9:30am
Hi, I'm Abi
I'm a seperated woman fast approaching 40 and having recently found myself alone for the first time, I've …
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Support Groups
Close Parenting Teenagers (12-18)
I've just joined my partner and his 12yr old in the US and am pleased to have been accepted into a loving family. But, we have the same challenges of anybody sharing joint care for a 12yr old and I'm finding it tough to support my partner when his son chooses to spend more time with his Mom than with him. It doesn't help that his Mom is quite competitive, especially with material things we can't afford, and I'm a little lost as to how best to support my partner and his son through these changes.
Treatments
- Patience Working / Worked
- Working well with the pre-teen son and is appreciated by his Dad, but I'm not sure whether it's enough or if it's merely storing problems for the future!
Close Video Game Addiction
Family life is great but tensions seem to be game related. New to this 'mom' thing I've no clue how bad this issue is only that my partner wants to fling the X-box! Doesn't help that ex-wife is a 'gamer' and whenever we try to limit game time/spending, the 12 yr old goes to his Mum where demands are met more readily. We've tried the 'what can we do that's more fun?' approach. Apparently nothing is as much fun as killing stuff. Is this really a problem in the making or normal for 12 yr old boys?
