cath's Journal

I don't work.  Well, I work, but I don't have a job.  Well, I have a job, but I don't get paid....in money.  I am a stay-at-home mom.

I am also very lucky that I have full time help.  Really lucky.  It's nice to be able to drive the other kids to school and other activities without having to interrupt the baby's nap schedule, etc.  Really nice.

The draw back is that she is now preferring her nanny to me.  (sniff).  When Silvia holds Devon and I put my hands out for my baby, she turns away from me.  I can't tell if she thinks it's a game, or if she's serious.  When Silvia leaves her sight, she cries.  I guess that means she's serious.

At night, she cries for me, and she's been sick these past 3 nights and she is more than happy to have me cuddle her and rock her.  And if she doesn't see Silvia, she loves to be with me.  But if we had a head to head contest.... I'm afraid Silvia would win.  

She's my 3rd, I am spending less time with her than I did with the first two.... and I am sure that has something to do with it.  It still hurts.

I am moderately sane enough to recognize that I am very lucky.  I am very lucky that Silvia loves her so much and takes such a good care of her so that when I leave, Devon is perfectly happy.  I know this in my head.  My heart, however, that's another story.

But I know, this too shall pass.   God help me when Matt and I leave for our 3 night trip without the kids.  As much as I am looking forward to it... I mean REALLY looking forward to it.  I will die a little bit inside if she shuns me.  Seriously.