RyansPrincess's Journal

I was able to make an appt with a therapist really quickly and got in the same day.  I dont know exactly what I was expecting but I walked out still not feeling any better and I have another appt for next week.  Still lots of anxiety .. even had a panic attack on the way home.  It seems that when I am at work that I am semi-OK .. I havent had any panic attacks there so far.  When I am at work and busy, I am distracted from all the thoughts fighting in my head and surprisingly it helps.  Not that I want to be at work 24/7 just to get away from my thoughts but at least I am distracted.  Hubby hadnt seen me have any panic attacks so he had no idea just what happens and how I feel.  That changed Friday night.  I had a big ol meltdown right in front of him .. I dont think he really knew what to do at first.  But he was so good ... he started rubbing my back and talking to me, trying to distract me and make me laugh.  Kind of hard to do when I am having trouble catching my breath and trembling all over.  He didnt stop once though .. kept rubbing my back and finally when I was able to calm down he asked if I had been having these attacks while driving.  I told him no, which is true .. luckily it has waited til I was in my parking spot and not moving.  We have our IVF consult on Wednesday.  I have no idea how that is going to go or if I will be able to handle it but it's just a consult and needs to be done. 

Hubby and I are going away next weekend to Mystic, CT.  Going to the aquarium and then to the Foxwoods Casino for a nice dinner and some fun.  We're staying in a nice hotel, I am gonna order room service and take a nice hot bath in the jacuzzi bath tub :)  I am soooo looking forward to this!  I think it will help my state of mind and I know hubby and I can use some "away" time with eachother.