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kimmyerin 
I have no idea why i keep sabotaging myself but i do. I know exactly what i should and shoulnd't eat but i just keep eating the wrong stuff all the time and gorging. Yesterday i knew i didn't want the chocolate raspberries but i still bought the bag and even though they were stale and hurt my jaw to eat them I kept eating until the bag was gone. Why do i do this. I made myself feel sick. I don't even recognise the woman who stares back at me in the mirror. I use to be so full of life and vivacious but now i'm just moody and depressed. Why is this so hard?--
Ok I have only 6 weeks until my sister gets home and I can't stand the thought of her seeing me like this. I planned on having a great weekend, working out and eating healthy but for he most part i just sat on my butt feeling exhausted. To make matters worse i ate rubbish food and now i feel foul. I wish it were easier than this.
So tonight after work i'm going home to put a photo of me at my healthiest up on the fridge so if i get tempted to eat something i shouldn't i can look at the photo to find inspiration to keep going strong.
I am going to prepare only healthy food and make sure i drink my 2L of water a day. I will take time out for me instead of focusing on everyone else. I am sick of feeling rubbish i want to feel amazing. I want to take control of my life.
Its so frustrating that i can be so good one day and so bad the next. There is just no consistency with me. Tuesday night i went to a family gathering where everyone at pizza and i took tuna and vegetables and felt so great eating them. I was so empowered and proud of myself then yesterday i ate a block of chocolate. I don't know why i do this to myself. Its so awful. I felt terrible last night and couldnt' stop crying.
God i wish there was a miracle cure and i'd wake up thin. I really need to lose at least 10lbs before july 31.
Comments
OH gosh girl. I've been there SO many times. Let me ask you this though.. where did you get that big block of chocolate??? I recently went through my house and got rid of EVERYTHING that wasn't good for me. NO EXCEPTIONS. And if you're like me, you probably felt bad thinking about throwing all that perfectly good food away, so you know what I did? I packed it all into a few grocery bags and brought it over to my grandmothers. Eliminating temptation is the first step. Once you start loosing, trust me, you'll be so inspired by your own loss, you won't want to eat anything bad. Another thing I do, I see pizza and hamburgers and greasy bad foods like that as -1 year of my life. When you start looking at it like that, it becomes SO different. Give it a try!
laurinthorla
Thanks you're right. I got the chocolate at 7eleven. The urge was overwhelming. It made me feel so sick though that i'm not tempted to touch it at the moment. Maybe i needed a binge to turn me off it. This weekend here in Australia is a long weekend so i'm going to spend the whole 3 days cooking healthy foods to have i my freezer ready for whenever i need to eat in a hurry. I've also asked my hubby to help with my workouts so i'll let you know how i go. Cooper is a Kelpie crossed with a whippet and Murphy is a Kelpie crossed with a Border Collie so they have energy to burn. I thought maybe by putting my focus on them and taking it off myself it will be harder to cheat or sabotage my progress. Talk soon. Thanks for the encouragement and likewise if i find something that works for me you'll be the first to know.
kimmyerin