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  TwilightAngel (10/26/09)

  I miss you mum... Soo much... xxx love you
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  nevagiveup (10/22/09)
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  SST (10/08/09)

  Don't know if it's true but it is funny!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.
  
  
  
  Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
  
  
  
  
  Hi Sue,
  
  Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
  
  Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all
  Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
  
  As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
  So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature..
  It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
  
  Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
  What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water.. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
  
  Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. With in a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
  
  The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
  
  When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
  
  I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
  
  Needless to say I aborted the dive.. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
  
  When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
  
  The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.
  So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
  
  Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'
  
  Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
  
  May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
  
  
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  LucianRunewarrior (09/30/09)
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  SST (09/23/09)

  One day a woman's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't "anymore". No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "just one minute." Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, say"I love you."
  
  So while we have it, it's best we love it, care for it, fix it when it's broken and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marriage.....And old cars... And children with bad habits and report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.
  
  Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a sister-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.
  
  Life is important, like people we know who are special.. And so, we keep them close!
  
  I received this from someone who thought I was a 'keeper'! Then I sent it to the people I think of in the same way.... Now it's your turn to send this to all those people who are "keepers" in your life, including the person who sent it, if you feel that way. Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends know you love them?
  
  I was thinking...I could die today, tomorrow or next week, and I wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships that needed rekindling or three words needing to be said.
  
  Let every one of your friends know you love them. Even if you think they don't love you back, you would be amazed at what those three little words and a smile J can do. And just in case I'm gone tomorrow.
  
  I LOVE YA!!!
  
  Live today because tomorrow is not promised..
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  grammydebest (09/21/09)

  please let me know you are alive
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  SST (09/19/09)

  Afternoon Sex
  
  The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon 'quickie' with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
  
  He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation:
  
  - 'There's a car being towed from the parking lot,' he shouted.
  
  - 'An ambulance just drove by!'
  
  - 'Looks like the Andersons have company,' he called out.
  
  - 'Matt's riding a new bike!'
  
  - 'Looks like the Sanders are moving!'
  
  - 'Jason is on his skate board!'
  
  - After a few moments he announced, 'The Coopers are screwing!!'
  
  Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out, 'How do you know they're screwing?'
  
  'Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle.'
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  SST (09/09/09)

  
  Importance of Walking
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ----- Walking can add minutes to your life.
  This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.
  
  
  
  My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
  Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.
  
  
  The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
  
  I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.
  Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.
  
  
  I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
  
  
  I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
  
  I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
  
  
  The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
  
  
  If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
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  lilMid (09/08/09)

  where are you? x
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  dem000 (09/03/09)

  Where have you been? I haven't talked to you in sooo long! Miss you :(

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